If anyone cares..

I need to vent.


Long story (kinda) short..
I was engaged to my fiance for two years. Year one, we are as happy as could be. Nothing could have torn us apart. We were strong, care free, in love, and an all-around good couple. Year two brought a change in feelings I suppose. He lost feelings for me and thus, I lost them for him. We have a child together and I am finding it extremely hard to get over him. I know that we are not good for each other whatsoever. I just can't shake him off! He used to say the most hurtful things to me when we argued. Awful things like, I was a bad mother. I would never make anything out of myself. I should go kill myself. He told me to ''drive really fast, text someone, and make sure I was not wearing a seat belt.'' He told me, I was not worth the air I breathe. Like, incredibly horrid things to say to a person.Yet, he claims this break-up is not what he wanted. I am a lot better off without him, emotionally. I just can not seem to stop caring about him. I guess it is just part of being a woman. I don't know.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm done now.

  He sounds like a head case!

Oh honey... you can do so much better   I hope he never speaks to his child like that... that sounds just like the kind of things my dad used to tell me when I was a teenager.

Quoting T-Swizzle+2:" Oh honey... you can do so much better   I hope he never speaks to his child like that... that sounds just like the kind of things my dad used to tell me when I was a teenager."

Honestly, I feel smurfed up in the head. I have no idea why I love him still. I have no clue as to why I care about him. I am sure he cheated on me during the course of our relationship.

Quoting k e n l e y:" Honestly, I feel smurfed up in the head. I have no idea why I love him still. I have no clue as to why I care about him. I am sure he cheated on me during the course of our relationship. "

Because people who are abused tend to believe it's their fault... that they DESERVE to be treated that way.
http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=168
He needs help. You need to stay away and you really need to watch him around your child  

Quoting k e n l e y:" Honestly, I feel smurfed up in the head. I have no idea why I love him still. I have no clue as to why I care about him. I am sure he cheated on me during the course of our relationship. "

Just to add, my dad used to tell me I was a mistake, that I was a whore, that nobody would ever want me and my daughter so I should just sign my rights over etc etc etc after a while I really believed that until my husband came along and made me believe I was worth something again.

Your ex sounds very insecure....Sorry you had to go through that hun   No one deserves to be treated like that!

Quoting T-Swizzle+2:" Just to add, my dad used to tell me I was a mistake, that I was a whore, that nobody would ever want ... [snip!] ... etc etc etc after a while I really believed that until my husband came along and made me believe I was worth something again. "

That is awful. I am so down right now, but I have always gotten back up. I will be ok, again. I am fixing to go read that link now.