Abel Caleb 01-06-10 04-06-11

Abel Caleb

My regretted decisions are constantly reminded
By those around me with growing families
By the hateful judgments on open forums
By the religious unforgiving souls
And by my own knowledge of human development
I wanted you both dearly
And loved you everyday you were with me
I love you even more with your absence
I wanted to bring you into this world
Yet circumstances and selfishness took you away
Please forgive me my children, your mother
I want you still and forever always

This is a poem I wrote today for the little ones I gave up. It was not easy and I just felt the need to write it.

Hey mama,
I was just looking over one of my last posts that I wrote, and I remembered seeing you post on it. I am very sorry for the pain you feel... because I know exactly how you feel.
I wish I knew how to comfort more, truth is I hardly know how to comfort myself. Sometimes I go months without thinking about it. Things have been so busy here that it feels like years, every time I do I cry like crazy.
Firstly,
No one will every understand the kind of pain you face every day, when you read forums that talk about abortion, I know not very many people have an open mind, and I understand why, but those people are not you.
Those people do not know you, they do not know your story and they do not know what you knew in your heart. Never let someone else's opinion define who you are.
You have not come this far, done this much in your life, to be beaten down by someone else's opinion.
Unless they have walked in your shoes, did what you did, and felt what you felt... then they can not judge.
Secondly,
You are beautiful, and you are strong. You did the hardest thing you could have possibly ever done. You have come this far, and you have your beautiful son!

Your babies are with you everyday. Things happen in life, we are faced with trials and tribulations, you knew what was best for you at that time, and though I know you wanted them so badly, you knew in your heart that you couldn't.
Sometimes, though I can't see or feel, I just know my baby is here with me. She's in my heart. I carry her where ever I go. I did something stupid. But sometimes in life.. you need to make decisions to protect yourself and the ones you love.
"when I go to sleep, on my pillows where she lays"
sometimes I think of that. sometimes it really hurts.
but nothing is forever. everything gets better, and everything happens for a reason.
You will meet again.

Now go hug your son ! (just like I'm going too lol)
and feel better  
<3

Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish the world was filled with more people like you. You are such a sweetheart.