When could you tell something was "different"?

How old was your child when you knew something was just "different" compared to other children? Were there specific signs that led you to act on more investigating/diagnosing?

My 18 month old DD has shown what I consider some signs for the past couple months; however, I dont know if she is just shy and independent or if she is somewhere one the autism spectrum.

Signs that concern me:
* She gives no affection what so ever.
* When we go to places (such as a park), she just stands there and watches.
* For about two months, she would cover her ears when her little brother would cry in the car.
* She doesnt smile.
* Her eyes look dilated, especially when she is excited
* She doesnt look like she engages with other people. When I have conversations with her, it looks like she is seeing right through me...like she zoned off.
*She doesnt really play with toys. She does know that a car goes "vroom" and pushes it across the floor but that is really the only imagintive play I have seen her do.

Her pedi understood my concerns but he said that #1 it was "too early" to tell and that #2 if he had concerns, that he would let me know. She does babble a lot, but its just baby talk. She only knows a handful of words. "Mommy" she uses a lot, but she calls everyone mommy. She loves climbing, running, riding in the stroller, etc. so she loves to be busy. Yet, she is also really quiet. People tell me all the time how chill/well behaved she is, but compared to other children, she just isnt the same. She recently started temper tantrums.

Are these red flags or is she just still too little? How can I gage what is something like autism vs something like shyness?

those don't scream red flags too me.

* She gives no affection what so ever. - Does she sit in your lap? Take you to show you what she wants?

* When we go to places (such as a park), she just stands there and watches. - Does she run? Play in the dirt? Maybe she's shy or scared?

* For about two months, she would cover her ears when her little brother would cry in the car. - I would too, that's annoying as a kid lol. Does she do that for anything else?

* She doesnt smile. - Ever?


* Her eyes look dilated, especially when she is excited - That's a normal human reaction for the eyes to dilate with mood.

* She doesnt look like she engages with other people. When I have conversations with her, it looks like she is seeing right through me...like she zoned off. - does she talk with herself or her toys?

*She doesnt really play with toys. She does know that a car goes "vroom" and pushes it across the floor but that is really the only imagintive play I have seen her do. - can she manipulate toys? Stack blocks? bang things together?

My mom just went through this with my 7 year old brother. He finally got his diagnosis and everything now but she's known something was up since he was two. She just kept the dr informed and eventually they figured it out. I don't think there is much they can do with someone so young, but keep an eye and remember that you know your kids better than everyone!

I use to work with mentally handicapped teens and adults and a lot of those do sound like some of our autistic kids. But she could also just be antisocial, that sometimes starts VERY early in some people. I would def. look up some Mother of Autistic children groups and forums and ask them if they know of any early diagnosis tips

My daughter is autistic, and showed many of those signs around 2. I asked her pediatrician to give us a referral to the autism clinic and we got an IEP with her school district as well. BTW it took fighting with everyone, including my DH for nearly 2 years to get that far. We still don't have a full on diagnosis, we're in the middle of the testing with the autism clinic, but so far they consider her High Functioning because she communicates and has grown out of a lot of the "traits" and so far will likely be integrated into normal school next year. But there are things you can do, like getting a second opinion or going to the school district to get an eval through them which can lead you to bigger ones with the right drs and therapists in your area <3

Would it be beneficial to try to put her in daycare to see if she does learn to socialize a bit more? Im not trying to pressure her out of who she might be, but I have always been socially awkward (homeschooled and very self concious) and I dont want her to not be able to socialize with others. Its an extremely valuable trait. However, I dont want her to feel like she is fighting for attention or to get pushed around by other kids if she goes to a daycare. im so lost :/

Quoting Kayla: mommy of 2 (::" Would it be beneficial to try to put her in daycare to see if she does learn to socialize a bit more? ... [snip!] ... her to feel like she is fighting for attention or to get pushed around by other kids if she goes to a daycare. im so lost :/"

Do you have a birth to 3 agency in your area? We have one where we live and they can go over all these concerns with you - they go through a development process and to watch the child and see. According to DH, his oldest son (who is now 12 and has aspergers) was noticeably different right away. He didn't socialize, was very hard to control, but he also did not show affection/compassion or talk til he was 3. Sometimes as parents though we often compare our kids to the other kids around us - some kids just develop at different times and the kid ends up being completely fine. Sometimes if you take them to daycare, the staff may be able to tell you what the child is like during the day with other kids and they have probably seen it before with other autistic children and they may be able to give you some answers or insight. Otherwise, I would see about that birth to 3 agency. Our daughter got seen after she was hospitalized with meningitis and they just wanted to make sure she was back on track developmentally. Good luck OP!