my 4 year old is extremely "strong willed"

So today upon dropping my 4 year old daughter off at pre-school I noticed that she snuck this small stuffed unicorn (under her coat) into the building after I specifically asked her not to. She is so prone to losing things and leaving them behind. The unicorn happens to be the prized and treasured object of the month so I know if she loses it she will be heart broken.

I ask her to hand it over and she does and she immediately runs in the classroom and tells her teacher that I wont let her have it. Her teacher says she can't change my rules and that it is what it is. Scarlett is distracted by the paints so I kiss her and go to walk out the door and her teacher comes over to me and says that it's good that I stick to the rules I set in place especially because Scarlett has a "very dominant and strong personality" and that she is "spirited and strong willed".

For some reason that didn't sit so well with me. And I don't know what it is about it but it almost bothers me?

I know Scarlett is extremely bright for her age and she bores easily especially if kids her own age can't keep up in conversation with her. She is VERY independent and stubborn. The arguments she presents are almost always valid and sometimes make ME question why I told her "no" in the first place! (I'd never admit that to her though) She grasps concepts most 11 year olds don't grasp. Her ability to reason is unreal and I often forget that she is 4..

Does anyone else have a child like this? How do you deal? What works best for you?

I don't think it's offensive. It sounds like the truth.

My daughter understands a lot for her age as well, but isn't 'strong willed' like that. She does as shes told, and although she questions it (sometimes) I love providing answers to help her grasp things.

Let her know her opinion and voice is heard, but Mommy's rules are Mommy's rules.

The arguments she presents are almost always valid and sometimes make ME question why I told her "no" in the first place! (I'd never admit that to her though)

That's not a bad thing imo. I think we should be flexible enough to say that their reasoning makes sense and possibly be able to change our minds. It's teaching them to negotiate and to problem solve. I like this article about strong willed kids.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child  

Sophie is the exact same way. I just try to be firm and consistent with her and explain everything I do because I know that she can get most logic.

I think these traits will make for an awesome adult...or a dictator of the world. She's very small and cutesy, so I don't think people will even see it coming.

I always tell people that Sophie will take over the world by charm or force  .

My 5 year old is extremely strong willed and she sounds pretty similar to your child. I have learnt more to bargain with her than say no all together because that doesn't work with her.

Mine is 7 and its like having a teenager in the house. In fact she is thus boss of the house. I have tried all sorts like consequences when she doesn't do as she's told. Doesn't work. I tried taking stuff off her and her reply was if you didn't buy it you can't take it off me because it doesn't belong to me. I can't ground her because she's not aloud out anyways. She is so stubborn and thinks she is right all the time. The school she is at are not very helpful although at school she is as good as gold. I don't know what to do either. I think girls just have attitude lol x

Sounds like my almost four year old. Just stick to your rules. Thats the ONLY thing you can do. My kid gets pissed at other kids her age if they dont keep up in convo wirmth her.

Last night we went out to dinner with my parents, they ran into the video store and it was me, my daughter and husband in the car she says, "there was five people in here now theres only three.... Well, i guess there WAS six people in here and jow theres only four cause my baby brother does count!" (im nine minths pregnant). Weve worked on simple math w her but come on. Shes not four yet!

I also must add that Scarlett is a Gemini so the split personality doesn't help much  

Quoting zombie.:" Sounds like my almost four year old. Just stick to your rules. Thats the ONLY thing you can do. My kid ... [snip!] ... cause my baby brother does count!" (im nine minths pregnant). Weve worked on simple math w her but come on. Shes not four yet!"

She is the WORST with other kids who can't keep up in convo.. By a year old she was speaking in FULL sentences.. So if another kid her age isn't quite as verbally advanced as her she says "I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" and she'll go "Mama, I can't understand a thing they're saying why are they doing that?" and I'll explain to her that some kids are just better at talking than others just like some kids are better at dancing and singing and running etc. I try to make her realize that every child is not the same. And she's usually fine with it.

We were in a grocery store once and this lady got down to Scarletts level and was like "Oh aren't you just the cutest" in baby talk and Scarlett goes "Lady, I'm 2, I'm not a baby." I was slightly mortified and impressed at the same time. lol

Quoting ℓiℓ j.:" My 5 year old is extremely strong willed and she sounds pretty similar to your child. I have learnt more to bargain with her than say no all together because that doesn't work with her. "

bargaining seems to be the tool of the trade in our house these days as well!

Quoting ashleyxdisaster:" She is the WORST with other kids who can't keep up in convo.. By a year old she was speaking in FULL ... [snip!] ... in baby talk and Scarlett goes "Lady, I'm 2, I'm not a baby." I was slightly mortified and impressed at the same time. lol"

Mine will look at them like "WTF" when she can't understand. I can tell I'm goign to have my hands full once she's in school. With her verbal and math skills alone she's going to be bored out of her mind in preschool.

Heyyyy I'm a Gemini lol and I was an angel kid apparently. It's not the split personality you have to be worried about that will only come out when someone's wound her up too many times. Gemini's tend to be calm people who speak there mind when need be. I will say tho ALL geminis well all that I know tend to be very forward and get bored very easily. If their brains are not feed with knowledge on a regular basis they will get side tracked and focus on something new. Am I discribing your daughter? Gems are very intelligent people who are mostly misunderstood. Maybe at play school she seems the strong one because she is getting bored of the reoccurring activities and needs something more advanced to do to feed her brain? I'm no psychologist but us geminis are hard work when it comes to focus xx

Quoting zombie.:" Mine will look at them like "WTF" when she can't understand. I can tell I'm goign to have my hands ... [snip!] ... hands full once she's in school. With her verbal and math skills alone she's going to be bored out of her mind in preschool. "

I thought the same thing with Scarlett.. And with some things she is quite bored but they have so many things for her to participate in there. They have a music class and a computers class. And she absolutely LOVES to paint and do artsy type things. So I'm sure yours will be fine =)

Quoting Paige-Lilly's and Peanuts:" Heyyyy I'm a Gemini lol and I was an angel kid apparently. It's not the split personality you have to ... [snip!] ... something more advanced to do to feed her brain? I'm no psychologist but us geminis are hard work when it comes to focus xx"

haha I too am a Gemini   right down to the T! Scarlett and I are a day apart! She is June the 10th and I am the 9th. So I know mostly how she works. But Lord does she have a split personality some times! And you're right I honestly do attribute some of her behaviors to her zodiac sign. There's just too much conicidence with it and how she acts. It's amazing really how true those things can be.

Haha, I think our girls are two peas in a pod! Keatyn is the exact same way and always has been really advanced for her age. Ever since she started talking everyone would always comment on how well she could talk, I don't know if it's the reason but I think it has a good part in it, Zach and I never really did the whole baby talk crap with her, I'm not one to do it and neither is he so I really think that might have helped with her.