re: Are you serious...

Quoting I'mOnFire:" In a sense I think so. When we met things were so much different from now. He doesn't hardly ever ... [snip!] ... rant last night about that on our anniversary I was just like like what the hell... You didn't exactly have to tell me that. "

Hmm. Were you trying to get him to open up about stuff and he just went off.... or did it come out of nowhere?

I mean, it's normal that things change as a relationship matures... but if you're being honest with him that you'd like more affection, I would hope he wouldn't just go off on you.

My DH says theres a big difference between making love and just smurfing and you can really tell the difference. Maybe TMI but making love with him is slower more passionate more touching and more kissing. But just straight smurfing is well kind of wham bam thank you ma'am. I think it would upset me if DH was to say what yours did.

Quoting wilde_mommy:" My DH says theres a big difference between making love and just smurfing and you can really tell the difference. ... [snip!] ... But just straight smurfing is well kind of wham bam thank you ma'am. I think it would upset me if DH was to say what yours did."

When I hear smurfing...I think of hair pulling, hard and fast pace, aggressive, and lots of other stuff. You know, the best stuff lol

Quoting The Doctor:" Hmm. Were you trying to get him to open up about stuff and he just went off.... or did it come out of ... [snip!] ... matures... but if you're being honest with him that you'd like more affection, I would hope he wouldn't just go off on you."

It came out of no where if I remember correctly. And sometimes he kinda does get annoyed and sorta go off when I tell him how I feel about being showed attention and such. It's not like I want it all the time or anything but every now and again a small sweet gesture would be kinda nice. Or to be told i look nice or beautiful ever once in awhile when I actually try. I try to just get over it because most of the time I do think i'm over reacting but to be honest I think I use that to trick myself so I don't get so upset.

Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" When I hear smurfing...I think of hair pulling, hard and fast pace, aggressive, and lots of other stuff. You know, the best stuff lol"

lol yep pretty much

dh doesnt like when I say are we smurfing tonight because he thinks its dirty... Sex is dirty  

Quoting wilde_mommy:" My DH says theres a big difference between making love and just smurfing and you can really tell the difference. ... [snip!] ... But just straight smurfing is well kind of wham bam thank you ma'am. I think it would upset me if DH was to say what yours did."

See, this is what I think as well. There is a serious difference between making love and smurfing. Smurfing is just down right dirty and raunchy (spelling?) And making love is more intimate, more loving... like you say slow, a lot of kissing and I don't know about you all but when I don't get butterflies and chills and this overwhelming sensation to tear up with happiness when i'm smurfing. But when I feel like I'm connecting physically and emotionally at the same time it happens. I kinda just feel like because he has said this it's all been me thinking we've made love all together all this time and in his reality he has just been smurfing me the entire time. Sometimes I think he just settled for me and learned to love me. That he didn't actually fall in love with me like I did him.

Let me think of exactly how he put this...
He said "You can't make love to someone. It's like giving someone a gift and saying its especially for you and no one else and then turning around and giving someone else that same gift and saying the same thing and the other person hearing it..." I'm so confused by this. I'm just like uhh just because you've had sexual relations with someone else does NOT mean you can't make love to anyone else.... WTF?! Then he went on a rant about he wishes he were retarded so he didn't sit and over analyses smurf all the time.. And I was like uh well if you were retarded you probably wouldn't have Gideon and I right now. And he just said at least he wouldn't have to think about all this smurf and went silent...

I mean what the hell!?

Quoting I'mOnFire:" I'm married to a man who doesn't believe "making love" in a sexual way is possible. He said it's smurfing ... [snip!] ... love" to him before and I think it offends me because he hasn't "made love" with me? I have no idea... What are your opinions?"

I don't think you are being silly. I would be upset too. My husband and I def feel sex is more in our marriage and that yes there is such a thing as "making love" There is a special loving connection you wouldn't get while having sex with just anyone. I believe sex is a gift from God for you and your husband to share.

Quoting I'mOnFire:" See, this is what I think as well. There is a serious difference between making love and smurfing. Smurfing ... [snip!] ... right now. And he just said at least he wouldn't have to think about all this smurf and went silent... I mean what the hell!?"

He seems cruel, and there is a difference with making love my DH and i have only made love once we had no lights on but candles we had slow music playing and we kissed and touched and it was slow and passionate so yea i think there is a difference.

I think its Different for everyone... Hubby and I have been together almost 9 years, and in that 9 years, we've never done the slow Romantic "Making Love"..... That doesnt mean he doesnt love me or I dont love him.... Its just not something we do, and Im sure there are lot of people (Guys especially) who dont need the slow romantic stuff to feel that connection... That being said, I dont think your husband was very nice in how expressed himself, and if my DH said something Like that if we were ever in the situation, I would be down right PISSED!! there were alot of NICER ways he could ahve expressed himself, and not ruined your euphoria after.