At a loss

I dont know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm getting depressed. I feel like I'm the only one who remembers about my son. I think about him 24/7. I try to keep A smile on my face to hide the unbearable pain I'm feeling inside. It's been 8 weeks since I lost him. I just want him so bad! That was my baby boy. I loved him so much from day one. I don't ever see myself feeling better about this. I'm just so smurfing hurt! I don't know anyone who has ever been through this so I just feel like I have no one to talk too. I wanted to ttc right away but now I don't know if I can really go through another pregnancy without going crazy. I know I will worry way too much and that wouldn't be good for me or the baby. I should've just got my tubes tied. I just feel like my life is ruined. All I do is obsess everday about getting pregnant again and getting to bring home a precious baby. I feel that in a way that would help to ease my pain a little but I'm sure it won't. I'm just so heartbroken and I don't know what to do. I'm so lost 😢.

I'm so sorry, mama. *Hugs*