re: Your SO accused of molestation

Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophie's dairy cow:</b>" if my child had no known mental illnesses ... [snip!] ... innocent and then I would be investing in therapy to figure out why they falsely accused that person, who coached them, etc."

A friend of the family was going through a divorce and his wife wanted full custody, so she tried coaching their 4 year old on tape to say things that he'd done to her. You could hear her and the girl's grandma in the background saying things, the girl was mispronouncing words because she didn't understand what was going on etc. She's still smurfed up over it. She's way too mature for her age because she was forced to grow up way too fast over that smurf.

It's sad, but it does happen.

It's worth them finding out for sure 100% of the time, absolutely though.

I would call the cops. No child would make that up.  

SIL's daughter said her "uncle" (some random guy SIL had living at her house) hurt her peepee. She was 4. SIL didn't do smurf about it. It makes me want to puke to this day and that was 2 years ago.

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" A friend of the family was going through a divorce and his wife wanted full custody, so she tried coaching ... [snip!] ... fast over that smurf. It's sad, but it does happen. It's worth them finding out for sure 100% of the time, absolutely though. "

That is some of the nastiest smurf I've ever heard. What a dumb smurf.

Quoting jordan.ℓeigh✿:" I would call the cops. No child would make that up.   SIL's daughter said her "uncle" (some random ... [snip!] ... house) hurt her peepee. She was 4. SIL didn't do smurf about it. It makes me want to puke to this day and that was 2 years ago."

That's horrible.

I would call the cops. Confront him and kick him out at the same time until proven innocent. I would rather be safe than sorry. My child's safety is number 1.

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" A friend of the family was going through a divorce and his wife wanted full custody, so she tried coaching ... [snip!] ... fast over that smurf. It's sad, but it does happen. It's worth them finding out for sure 100% of the time, absolutely though. "

yeah this is something i was thinking about b4 i posted too. i have a cousin that was accused of it and he is kind of slow? well we heard his x coaching her on the phone she didnt know anyone was listening other than my cousin. there was no physical proof but he was in an accident after and it damaged his brain. his laywer didnt fight for him and he is now in jail. all of the doctor visits the girls had to go through bc of it we will never see the child they had together. its a messed up situation. the x and her mother both are bipolar and have other issues. i think all cases should be investigated 100% and the people in contact with the children should too.

I would take her to the ER to get checked out first.

If there was proof it had happened, SO would be locked up.

If there wasn't I'm not sure what I would do. I wouldn't ignore it though. I think I would either set up an appointment with a therapist or a counselor...someone to get more out of her if I couldn't. See what they say....I mean...it's a tough situation. I wouldn't not believe, but sometimes kids lie. So before I made any decisions, I'd have to be 100% sure it's the right one or A) SO ends up locked up over something he didn't do. Or B) My kid keeps going through it and nothing gets done. Scary situation though....

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" A kid with no prior experience to sexualization wouldn't be able to make it up, despite any mental health ... [snip!] ... I had to talk to my SO about it, say "Sorry, but my child is my number one priority. I hope she's wrong, but I can't risk it.""

That's actually not true at all. What young kids can't make up do is make up detailed sex events. But there have been plenty of men and women accused over people misinterpreting a child's wayward imagination.

I think the safest thing is to take them to the police and have them sort it out. They will put them under the scrutiny of a child doctor dealing with abuse victims, and you can go from there.

I'd take her to the er for an exam first. Then contact the police.

I would confront the accused.

ER first.
Regardless of whether explicit evidence is found in the exam, he'd be confronted, kicked out, and the police would be contacted. Fondling/touching/groping isn't going to leave physical evidence. It's my responsibility to protect my child.

I would leave and never look back or think of that sicko again. I wouldn't allow him to see my child either not even supervised.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kati Iss Rollinn:</b>" I would leave and never look back or think of that sicko again. I wouldn't allow him to see my child either not even supervised. "</blockquote>


What if he was proven to be innocent?

Er and contact the police. It's my job to keep my child safe, not to play judge or jury.