re: Sex fails

My ex almost smurf himself (he was on top) when we were doing it in his room in college. He had to get up off me and RUN to the bathroom. I laughed for what seemed like hours!

My SO and I had just finished and we came out of the bedroom. We had no clue that his 5-year-old goddaughter was there (we thought that it was just her parents) and she asked us if we just had sex. I was baffled. I had no idea what to say!

Quoting Lil Michael's Mommy:" My ex almost smurf himself (he was on top) when we were doing it in his room in college. He had to get ... [snip!] ... there (we thought that it was just her parents) and she asked us if we just had sex. I was baffled. I had no idea what to say! "

Bahahahah I would have DIED laughing forever.

To the second part, why the hell does she know about sex that young lol.

Quoting KyliesMommy2012:" Bahahahah I would have DIED laughing forever. To the second part, why the hell does she know about sex that young lol."

I knew what it was when I was 5.

I farted once during doggie style and it stunk so bad he had to leave the room. LMAO

OH man. I had taken my HS boyfriend home to meet my mom (I lived 2hours away from her). We were getting busy on my old bed in my old room, I was on top, it felt great, then I looked on my wall and I saw one of these:


Which, I was a baby back then about spiders (okay, just kidding.. I'd still have the same response today.. )

Anyways, I FREAKED OUT. I don't think I could have screamed louder all while trying to get off of him, but I, erm, clenched too tightly and I couldn't get off, so we both fell off the bed onto the floor. I'm guessing I strained his penis? We literally couldn't have sex for six weeks, but he was way too embarrassed to go to the doctors to see what went wrong.

My ex and I were getting it on. Well we were in a hurry and while I was taking my shirt off I yelled peek a boo. Then I hear my cousin right outside the door say I see you. Yeah apparently she and a couple of our friends were hanging out outside the door.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" I knew what it was when I was 5. "

I knew what sex was, but I couldn't figure out that two people had just smurfed just because they walked out of a bedroom together lol. There's a difference.

Quoting KyliesMommy2012:" I knew what sex was, but I couldn't figure out that two people had just smurfed just because they walked out of a bedroom together lol. There's a difference."

Good point there :X.

Lol  

Quoting Where the ♥ is,:" My SO was going down and he bit me...because he "couldn't breathe"   He then told me I could bite him back for revenge. lol I didn't though."

Ouch haha.

This reminds me of a story my friend told me.

She had braces and was giving a guy a blow job and he got his foreskin caught in her brace at the back of her mouth haha.

Awkward as hell it must have been because he couldnt actually remove his cock from her mouth! lol! Must have been excruciating for the guy though.