re: Sex fails

Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:" Lol my ex still has rug burn scars on the tops of his feet from doing it doggy on the carpet. We recently ... [snip!] ... I knew it was gonna be fast but damn!" Needless to say I made him go again about 30 minutes later! Big fail on his part "

I know a girl who was banging a guy who jizzed in 2 thrusts lol.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" I know a girl who was banging a guy who jizzed in 2 thrusts lol."

Yeah thats what I felt like! I just looked at him and was like well you better get it back up because youre going again!

Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:" Yeah thats what I felt like! I just looked at him and was like well you better get it back up because youre going again!"

Good thing about boys, they usually are up for a second round  

We broke our bed. Legit snapped the side rails off from where they were connected to the bed head. My 6 month old solid timber 2k bed.

I was on top an grabbed the bed head so hard and pulled it that it snapped the bolts the top of our bed was flat on the floor and I was pushing the bed head against the wall so we wouldn't be crushed. I was mostly worried about finishing coz I was so close. I couldn't because I was laughing so much.

To make matters worse it was the first night in our new house and my father came up the next day to take a look. And asked why the bed wasn't the first the we set up....

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" We broke our bed. Legit snapped the side rails off from where they were connected to the bed head. My ... [snip!] ... in our new house and my father came up the next day to take a look. And asked why the bed wasn't the first the we set up...."

bahahahaha funny, sucks you didn't get to finish though =\.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MysticWitchKat:</b>" bahahahaha funny, sucks you didn't get to finish though =\."</blockquote>


Well another time after that I thought is treat him to a lap dance. As I kind of pushing my weight against him the legs buckled flat (they were metal) and he was flat on the floor and I was squatting over him. The most unsexiest position is definitely a squat

Any time I change from doggy style to another position, I queef. Like a lot.   

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MysticWitchKat:</b>" bahahahaha funny, sucks you didn't get ... [snip!] ... (they were metal) and he was flat on the floor and I was squatting over him. The most unsexiest position is definitely a squat"

HILARIOUS!!

My pretty gross and not so long ago i think tow weeks ago, anyways we were all getting intimate before sex my Dh is kissing my all over and then boom my stomach starts growling lol i had diarreha, so that turned us both off

When DH and I were just dating. We were getting busy, and his little sister knocked on the door but he didnt hear her, (door was locked and she didnt know I was there) So he loudly states "Im Coming" and I guess she thought he meant to the door and impatiently Busted the door down. Im sure she saw EVERYTHING!! lol... I was soooo Embarrassed at the time... I could have died... but looking back now its funny.. Another time, I handcuffed DH to his bed and while giving him a BJ he BROKE the handcuffs in half... and they werent cheapy handcuffs....

Ummm I farted in SOs face one time while he was eating me out  
Another time we were in NY in a hotel room and he ripped the headboard off the wall lmao

Quoting ~Mama 2 One~:" When DH and I were just dating. We were getting busy, and his little sister knocked on the door but he ... [snip!] ... I handcuffed DH to his bed and while giving him a BJ he BROKE the handcuffs in half... and they werent cheapy handcuffs.... "

My highs chool sweethearts mom walked in on us. I was on top   I was so mortified I never wanted to go back to his house, but his mom said "honey... we knew before what you guys were doing and we don't care if you're being safe" I was like oh lord, kill me NOW! The worst part was that Cade was an "oops" baby... his mom was like 60 something. Uggggh still embarrassing after all this time! lol

Quoting T-Swizzle+2:" My highs chool sweethearts mom walked in on us. I was on top   I was so mortified I never wanted ... [snip!] ... part was that Cade was an "oops" baby... his mom was like 60 something. Uggggh still embarrassing after all this time! lol"

omg so she was like 80  

Quoting Will☮Creedence:" omg so she was like 80  "

No she was mid forties when she had him and was in her 60's when I knew them.

Quoting T-Swizzle+2:" No she was mid forties when she had him and was in her 60's when I knew them. "

Ohhh ok haha. That's still super embarrassing.