re: your husband or your child/ren?

Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" I didn't know about the internet back then  "

Well planned parenthood and the gyno then. I'm pretty sure after baby number one, she'd figure out how kids are made.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" i wanted to get pregnant. at least 3 of my pregnancies were planned for me."

Hence you getting pregnant is YOUR fault. Not your mom's.

Quoting ★Bαtgirl:" Hence you getting pregnant is YOUR fault. Not your mom's. "

 
You're problem is accountability OP, you're always on here trying to justify smurf asking us who we put first in our lives, if you should leave your son across the country, smurf like that.. It's time you took some responsibility for the actions you made as an adult.

Quoting ★Bαtgirl:" Hence you getting pregnant is YOUR fault. Not your mom's. "

but it all goes back to her not giving me enough attention and love that i went to such desperate measures to go about getting those things the wrong way.

I had a smurfed up life and never knew love until I met my husband and if anything not having love being ignored abandoned mentally and physically abused and molested just made me not want to get close to people and even now the only people that I can say I love you to without hesitation are my kids i can't even tell my husband that I love him even though I do. My kids are the only people I can be affectionate with too because I never had that but I want better for them and I am glad that it came naturally to love them and care for them even though it was harder to do with my daughter.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" but it all goes back to her not giving me enough attention and love that i went to such desperate measures to go about getting those things the wrong way."

But it also goes back to you making those decisions on your own.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Cade*Mak*Col*:</b>" Always my children.... I feel like that shouldn't even be a question for anyone. However, if I didn't ... [snip!] ... i got pregnant and I knew continuing the pregnancy would probably kill.me, id abort. So in that case my husband comes first."</blockquote>




I think that means your other kids come first

Quoting Crazy one:" I had a smurfed up life and never knew love until I met my husband and if anything not having love being ... [snip!] ... for them and I am glad that it came naturally to love them and care for them even though it was harder to do with my daughter."

thats where you were lucky and i wasn't.. you were able to find a husband or at least someone who loved/cared about you before you smurfed up your life. i wasn't that fortunate. it took me 10 years

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" but it all goes back to her not giving me enough attention and love that i went to such desperate measures to go about getting those things the wrong way."

Being able to acknowledge that much is a big step in taking accountability and letting go of some your baggage. Being able to recognize her faults and acknowledge the emotional harm it caused you is important to help you understand what your parenting can do to your own child.

Quoting Legendary Amanda:"   You're problem is accountability OP, you're always on here trying to justify smurf asking us who ... [snip!] ... your son across the country, smurf like that.. It's time you took some responsibility for the actions you made as an adult. "

i'm getting better about that.. but its gonna be tough as nails for me to not blame my mom for most of my smurf ups and no one here will ever understand why i blame her but she knows why and the guilt is still eating her up inside.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" i'm getting better about that.. but its gonna be tough as nails for me to not blame my mom for most ... [snip!] ... my smurf ups and no one here will ever understand why i blame her but she knows why and the guilt is still eating her up inside."

You act like you are the only person who had a smurffy mom. People understand more than you think, you are incredibly egocentric.

Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" You act like you are the only person who had a smurffy mom. People understand more than you think, you are incredibly egocentric."

yeah but people deal with their problems in different ways and i shouldnt be made to feel bad because this is how i chose to cope with what i went through.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" thats where you were lucky and i wasn't.. you were able to find a husband or at least someone who loved/cared about you before you smurfed up your life. i wasn't that fortunate. it took me 10 years"

it wasn't easy I am a very hard person to deal with and I am surprised he stayed with me because I push people away and i do what it takes to get it done. He broke up with me because of it 7 years ago and it only made him want to go back to his ex because she was nice and I wasn't. He only wanted me for sex in the begining but I told him I didn't sleep with people unless I was going to be in a relationship and it would be months even if i did go out with him. so he ended up marrying the girl he only wanted for sex...
and I am mean and heartless \

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" yeah but people deal with their problems in different ways and i shouldnt be made to feel bad because this is how i chose to cope with what i went through."

It's your lack of coping that is the issue.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" yeah but people deal with their problems in different ways and i shouldnt be made to feel bad because this is how i chose to cope with what i went through."

this is true.. my mom was raped at 9 and she decided to sleep around cheat on her husbands and have all of her kids with different men and abandon me because I was the kid that was supposed to make the man she wanted (my dad) stay with her and it didn't work so she hated me for it...