Advice needed please!

I am the mother of 2 (here shortly there will be 3) and I’m wondering if anyone knows anything about custody. I currently share 50/50 custody of my daughter and my husband has given me the opportunity of becoming a stay at home mom after the baby comes… I want to look at gaining majority custody of my daughter since I will be able to spend my time with her. She’s 4 years old and will be going into school next year. Daycare costs are insane and I know that if I’m not working, I’ll be able to drop my daughter off and pick her up after school eliminating the hefty daycare cost that goes along with it. Will that help my chances of gaining majority custody? I’m not looking for more money, but I do know it’ll help both me and her father if we didn’t have that extra expense. I think it would be better for her to be in a stable environment and with his work schedule as a Marine I don’t think he can provide that. He is already pushing to change her current daycare because they’re not open early enough and they’re strict on the kids only being there 10 hrs. a day and no longer, the place he wants her in is open from 6-6 and I’m sorry but I don’t want her in daycare for 12 hrs. a day when she doesn’t need to be. I need advice. And if you’re in the north county area (San Diego, CA) and know a good lawyer let me know! Lol. Thank you in advance!

I don't know anything about the custody aspect, but I suggest that you have a frank discussion with the father and see if it's something that he's open to. My brother has a daughter whom he has 50% custody, but she lives mostly with her mother because she's in school in another district. They work it out without bringing a lawyer into it. I don't know if that would be possible, but as a parent, I would think he would see your point of view.

as awesome as that would be, he won't see my point of view on this. He will fight me tooth and nail over it because he does what's best for him not what's best for our daughter.

Quoting KrissJohnson16:" I am the mother of 2 (here shortly there will be 3) and I’m wondering if anyone knows anything about ... [snip!] ... advice. And if you’re in the north county area (San Diego, CA) and know a good lawyer let me know! Lol. Thank you in advance!"

talk to him explain what your thinking and let him know he is more than welcome to visit anytime then you may not have to do a big custody thing just write up an agreement and both of you go to the bank sign it and have it noterized you each get a copy no lawyers no court costs

Quoting Jillian Lindsey:" talk to him explain what your thinking and let him know he is more than welcome to visit anytime then ... [snip!] ... up an agreement and both of you go to the bank sign it and have it noterized you each get a copy no lawyers no court costs "

oh I wish! we just recently went to court because he didn't want to pay child support anymore. he makes over twice as much as me and doesn't think that "I" deserve it... apparently he doesn't realize it goes to support his child! the hardest thing is that we live an hour away from each other (only a city over but traffic and him living on base don't help) she's in daycare that is half way between us and he thinks that it's convenient for me because I carpool with my mom, regardless I still travel the same amount of time that he does and I do it every day versus his 2-3 days a week. if I gave him a choice, even with me not working he'd still push for her to go to daycare after school so he can still have her for his 50%, make me pay for half and try to convince yet another daycare the he is the "better parent"

That's really tough. I think that most courts will only change custody if they see a good reason too (maybe him not wanting to pay??), but I don't know enough about it to be sure.

Quoting KrissJohnson16:" oh I wish! we just recently went to court because he didn't want to pay child support anymore. he makes ... [snip!] ... he can still have her for his 50%, make me pay for half and try to convince yet another daycare the he is the "better parent""

well that blows then go to court tell them you dont want to make him pay more you just want to cut out daycare and have her be with you because its important for her

<blockquote><b>Quoting KrissJohnson16:</b>" oh I wish! we just recently went to court because he didn't want to pay child support anymore. he makes ... [snip!] ... he can still have her for his 50%, make me pay for half and try to convince yet another daycare the he is the "better parent""</blockquote>




Me and my ex have 50-50 custody, but dean stays with me and 3 weekends a month he would go to his dads, does she stay with u or him during the week now??
I don't get child support, because I shouldn't have to make him pay me, with that said, I looked better in court asking for every other weekend and during the week for dean to stay with me, and I got it because I was only asking for more time, my ex who's a professional mma
fighter who makes really good money, really had nothing to offer
And he looked like an ass because I pay out of pocket for deans med insurance and private school and that alone comes out to 1000 a month.
Do u have a lawyer?? In cali fathers right are so up the fam courts systems ass its ridiculous, my ex is also a convicted felon with violent crimes on his record and I was the the the judge asked for drug tests on because I had a possesion charge from when I was 19, I was 25 when we finally went to court  

ok so I had a lawyer and he was fantastic when we did the divorce but couldn't even pull through when I asked to have child support pulled directly from my ex's check because he was already 2 payments behind and pushing payments for as long as he could. currently we have a kind of different schedule for custody. parent one has her Monday Tuesday, parent 2 Wednesday Thursday and parent one again Friday through Sunday and it switches the next week (we started custody when she was only 10 months so it was best for her) I have a few things on him I just need to find a good lawyer and get all the documents from her previous daycares stating that she was kicked out due to his attitude. one in which was actually afraid of him! I don't know how much I really have against him, I want to do what's best for my daughter and if I'm able to spend quality time with her and make it to where she's not in daycare when she really doesn't need to be I think that should be enough but sometimes, you never really know! I just mostly wanted an idea of if I had a good chance or not before I start forking over a ton of money for nothing.

<blockquote><b>Quoting KrissJohnson16:</b>" ok so I had a lawyer and he was fantastic when we did the divorce but couldn't even pull through when ... [snip!] ... know! I just mostly wanted an idea of if I had a good chance or not before I start forking over a ton of money for nothing."</blockquote>




Is she in pre school or something?? I had dean in a learning academy we put him there at 18months and he went 5 days a week, if there's something like that where ur trying to do something for her education its a big plus! My ex said he wanted dean home schooled and the judge almost laughed at him, the judge knew what school dean was in and I had letters from his teachers and director saying he was well adjusted and doing very well learning ect. He was 3 at the time.
Distance can work in ur favor, my ex lives about 75 miles away from me, so it made sense that we didn't go back and forth for pickup and drop offs, and its too far for my ex to say he'll keep him during week and tak him to school in morning, because he wouldn't.
when u go for mediation ask for her during the week for school and let him have 3 weekends u only get 1 or 2 weekends a month if it has 5 weeks in that month, but that's kinda standard for a decent amount
of time for each parent.
We have joint legal custody 50/50 and I have physical custody 70/30
I don't get child suport, but I don't think it will effect what u get... I would look into pre schools around u and start that process.

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting KrissJohnson16:</b>" ok so I had a lawyer and he was fantastic ... [snip!] ... get child suport, but I don't think it will effect what u get... I would look into pre schools around u and start that process."

she's in an amazing daycare that's teaching her so much that it seems stupid to take her out and put her into a preschool. Plus she starts kindergarten next year. I know it'll take a little bit to fight through all this so I'd rather get the ball rolling now since with CA court systems if I remember correctly it takes 6 months from the filing date to get seen by a judge. We both agree on the school she will be going to for Kinder but he's trying to put her somewhere new so she's "not around babies" I don't think any other place will teach her as much as the place she's in now. she is in a daycare that is half way from both of us (the school is in the same area) however, if we continue to share custody (the way that we have it worked out right now), I don't know how he'll be able to even drop her off at school (when it does start) because he wants to be able to drop her off at daycare at 6am! schools don't start till what? 8? it just doesn't seem possible on his end. stressful for her in the end and I plan to still put her in the middle so he will still be involved. if he wants to visit her at school, check everything out and every so often when he's off early, pick her up and spend time with her I'm all for it. I want him in her life, I don't want to take her dad from her. I just want things to be easy on my little girl.