re: Dear Single Dads on Online Dating Sites

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" Just because a guy doesn't have a child doesn't mean he has priorities. And regardless of if they have ... [snip!] ... all. =/ I may sound bitter, but I think wanting a guy to be interested in me beyond my daughter isn't asking for a lot at all. "

Dude   It seems like they are just trying to break the ice instead of full force saying OMG YOU ARE SO HOT YOU SEEM SO INTERESTING I LOVE HOW WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. But I guess that's what you want to hear so...rock on.

Quoting Sweetheart...*:" This is true OP. I would rather date someone that has a child already so then they will know where my ... [snip!] ... will not get you half as much. Just think about your childless friends vs. those with kids. They would get you a lot more.."

And I would rather date someone with similar interests and goals that go beyond just my child. Just having children as a prerequisite for being with someone is not what I consider a good start to dating. I'm open to guys with kids, but not when their messages just say "We have a lot in common I have a kid around your's age." That's not a lot in common. That is one thing.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Right.....   And having common interest like having kids that can IDK play together? Is a good start. ... [snip!] ... same rather than dating a guy who knows nothing about priorities. OP you sound way off and slightly bitter for some reason."</blockquote>


Exactly my point.

Remove your kid from your status.
You want them to ONLY be interested in you so there you go. Problem solved.

To be honest, I never really dated single dads. Even though I was a single mom, I found most single fathers to be off-putting. Probably because they often bitched about their BMs or because when we spoke they would give me unsolicited advice on how to raise my daughter (by advice, I mean they would tell me everything they believe I was doing wrong).

But, please understand that not all single dad's are like that and they might have said that because online or off, it's really hard to talk to a girl and thought it was an easy opening.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Right.....   And having common interest like having kids that can IDK play together? Is a good start. ... [snip!] ... same rather than dating a guy who knows nothing about priorities. OP you sound way off and slightly bitter for some reason."</blockquote>

Insane.... She's wrong for wanting a guy that's a match for her, not her kids? Not in the least.

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" And I would rather date someone with similar interests and goals that go beyond just my child. Just ... [snip!] ... messages just say "We have a lot in common I have a kid around your's age." That's not a lot in common. That is one thing. "

Actually, it is. Most people's life revolve around their children which mean they do things for their children on a constant basis. Yes you have life outside of your child but that is a scheduled time. You live day to day for your children.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" And why is it settling if someone wants to date someone with children?? Regardless of whether or not ... [snip!] ... mean they had nothing in common with you. Did you even think to check THEIR profiles and see if they had anything in common?"

I have, and most of them are guys in their 30s that I have absolutely nothing in common with. I'm not turning them down just BECAUSE they have kids, but at the same time, I don't want someone to only look at me because I have a kid. I'm actually kind of (maybe) talking to a single dad right now, but he sent me a nice message and actually sounded like he read my profile and wanted to get to know ME.

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" And I would rather date someone with similar interests and goals that go beyond just my child. Just ... [snip!] ... messages just say "We have a lot in common I have a kid around your's age." That's not a lot in common. That is one thing. "

I think what he meant by that was he knows a lot of what you are going through and that maybe your lifestyles are similar (especially if the kid lives with him).

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" To be honest, I never really dated single dads. Even though I was a single mom, I found most single fathers ... [snip!] ... and they might have said that because online or off, it's really hard to talk to a girl and thought it was an easy opening. "

THIS

I actually always got boyfriends who didn't have kids lol. Never dated a guy with kids. It might help if maybe you didn't put that up on your profile, and then if it actually got serious you could bring up your child. Just a thought, but no one should ever settle, despite whatever situation they are in, that's just a set up for a slew of issues down the line. Shrugs.

Quoting Just Ames:" Remove your kid from your status. You want them to ONLY be interested in you so there you go. Problem solved."

  


That would solve your problem of guys wanting you just for your child.

Quoting snglemama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Right.....   And having common interest ... [snip!] ... reason."</blockquote> Insane.... She's wrong for wanting a guy that's a match for her, not her kids? Not in the least."

Oh sorry. Here I am thinking that it's a package deal, my bad.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" To be honest, I never really dated single dads. Even though I was a single mom, I found most single fathers ... [snip!] ... and they might have said that because online or off, it's really hard to talk to a girl and thought it was an easy opening. "

Ewwww I would hate if someone i dated tried to give me parenting advice!

And, the responses on this thread... Exactly why i started the thread for dating moms!

Op, i get what you're saying, and nothing wrong with it. You weren't saying you wouldn't date a dad... Just thats not a REASON to date someone