Oh No She Didn't.... Mother-n-law Drama

Okay, So I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this as I am new to Baby Gaga! Needless to say, I got married earlier this year and to my surprise got pregnant on my honeymoon.... My husband and I have a great relationship and with the exception of some growing pains we really have a great life. So what's the problem you ask?? His mama and occasionally his ex wife. His mother has been a thorn in my side since we've gotten together b/c she refuses to let go. My husband is a great guy and that's why I'm married to him but she has tried everything to be a dark cloud over our relationship/marriage. Honestly, I think she has an Oedipus problem (but that's just my opinion). This past weekend my mother threw me a baby shower and his mother managed to boycott it along with the rest of his family. Now this is no popularity contest so I'm not dying for anyone to accept me especially when I know have done nothing to deserve the way they are acting. It was quite puzzling to me that they didn't show up considering they have smiled up in my face for the past 3 1/2 years but whatever. I am a strong, educated, good person and have a great support system.... Right now I'm feeling like she doesn't deserve to be in my son's life as she has exemplified some pretty immature behavior to boycott her grandson's shower (which was the straw). I also don't want anything from her later for him... I'm venting but can use some feedback

Well as smurffy as that is of her IMO you shouldn't make decisions concerning your son, based off of her feelings towards you.

<blockquote><b>Quoting LadyTurner1:</b>" Okay, So I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this as I am new to Baby Gaga! Needless to say, ... [snip!] ... shower (which was the straw). I also don't want anything from her later for him... I'm venting but can use some feedback"</blockquote>




Is there more to the story? Your child needs grandparents, and then not showing up to a baby shower isn't really sufficient reason to cut them out of your child's life. What does your husband think? Maybe they just couldn't make it? Maybe they just didn't want to go, or plan to throw you a separate one? Regardless, cutting ties seems extreme

<blockquote><b>Quoting BαƚMαɳ:</b>" Well as smurffy as that is of her IMO you shouldn't make decisions concerning your son, based off of her feelings towards you."</blockquote>


Agreed. I can't stand my MIL but I wouldn't keep my sons from their grandmother just cause she's a bitch.

<blockquote><b>Quoting snglemama:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting LadyTurner1:</b>" Okay, So I'm not sure if this is the right ... [snip!] ... make it? Maybe they just didn't want to go, or plan to throw you a separate one? Regardless, cutting ties seems extreme"</blockquote>



    this. I totally agree with you. Op, have you asked her why they didn't come?

I think that's up to your Dh not you. Would you want him to say your family can't be around your kid just because they don't like him?

Certainly, there's more to the story that I didn't have enough space to write. I also am well aware that it is their decision but the reason for them not going was quite ridiculous and has nothing to do with my son. My husband is devastated and feels the same.

its a mother in law rule i guess. I have 2 kids by someone else and his family adores them. they love them. she really never included me in family things and what not. when we got pregnant she told everyone it wasnt his. she refused to hold him she started drama the day he was born and threw a fit because he didnt want a dna test. she always made it a point to tell me he doesnt look like SO everytime we came around. SO past away in oct. 11. and all she ever talks about is how much he looks like dad.. she always up my ass and includes me in everything now..
but i agree. just because she drives me crazy i still let her come around and keep them on weekends. they need her and she needs them. I dont think you should keep her aways cause she makes you mad.

Unless she is the type to openly disrespect you, I don't think you should keep your son from seeing his grandmother. And like you said she has been a thorn in your side so maybe it was for the best that she didn't show up to your baby shower. It would have probably been a stressful day for you and her.

I definitely appreciate everyone's feedback... the truth is I can argue both sides why I should or why I should not keep my son away. I just feel like her reasoning was a bit extreme and selfish as to why she didn't want to come. The shower is not for me, it's for my son. Not to mention I have gone to every family function of my husband's family as a support to him (even when I sensed tension).

Been there done that- tried to work it out. It is what it is! I refuse to let any of my children around anyone whom had a problem with myself or my children's Father-For 1 I don;t have to. They are the kind of people might say negative things they feel around my children and I refuse to do it!!

Quoting LadyTurner1:" I definitely appreciate everyone's feedback... the truth is I can argue both sides why I should or why ... [snip!] ... Not to mention I have gone to every family function of my husband's family as a support to him (even when I sensed tension)."

The welcoming of this child is just as much for you as it is for the baby!! I feel you on this whole situation!

<blockquote><b>Quoting LadyTurner1:</b>" I definitely appreciate everyone's feedback... the truth is I can argue both sides why I should or why ... [snip!] ... Not to mention I have gone to every family function of my husband's family as a support to him (even when I sensed tension)."</blockquote>



It's really not. Your son wasnt there, nor will he remember it. The shower was for you, thrown by your family. I'd have been glad they didn't come if they didn't like me. It's selfish to cut her out just because she doesn't like you

Quoting Barnett Babies:" Been there done that- tried to work it out. It is what it is! I refuse to let any of my children around ... [snip!] ... 1 I don;t have to. They are the kind of people might say negative things they feel around my children and I refuse to do it!!"

That's precisely how I feel. My son doesn't need to be around the negativity