Visitation/custody

My sons dad is ridiculous. One minute he says he doesnt want to talk to me at all so for me to leave him alone forever. The next day he's blowing up my phone asking to see his son. Its irritating and ignorant. Well he lives about an hour from me. He is married to a lady who is disabled, so all their bills and extras are taken care of by his wife. He has no job (I know he makes GOOD money but i have no proof on how, because he isnt employed).. He is in a gang. He smokes marijuana daily and pops pills frequently. & said when our son gets older hes going to be in the same gang as him. . He only completed the 10th grade. His home has no heat in it, his gas isnt turned on.
Well I am 22 with a 3 year old by another guy, and then a 10 month old with this guy. I live by myself, but I do get TANF, food stamps, and i live in low income based housing. I am in the LPN nursing program (i start the 27th). I have a vehicle. My dad helps me with any extras I need for myself or my kids. My baby is EBF so it has been hard to get a job, because he wont take a bottle, but i am getting into school and hopefully weeing him.
Well my sons dad called me today and asked if I was going to court on Monday, I said yes and he asked if it was for child support and i told him yes. he started yelling at me calling me a b*tch and saying for me to watch and see what happens now and blah blah. So he said he was going to get an attorney and take me to court for rights to see his son EVERY single day of the week.
What my question is... Will they grant him his wishes to this if I dont present an attorney for myself? Do I even have a chance of getting what I want if I'm not able to get an attorney??? Will the state appoint me one?? Has this happened to anyone??
I dont understand how he expects to see him every single day when we live an hour from each other.. This is so unreal and makes me SO MAD!! grrrr. .
help!?

not to sound like a bitch but why would you have a child with someone like this? did you know how he was beforehand?

<blockquote><b>Quoting *~* Superwoman *~*:</b>" not to sound like a bitch but why would you have a child with someone like this? did you know how he was beforehand?"</blockquote>




Exactly. You are going to have to deal with him for 18 years

Quoting *~* Superwoman *~*:" not to sound like a bitch but why would you have a child with someone like this? did you know how he was beforehand?"

I figured somebody would say something like that lol. I ask myself the same question!!! Everybody always asks me this lol.
I wasnt TRYING to get pregnant. I used to be so attracted to the "thug" look. & thats exactly how he acted and looked. I completely see now that it is NOTHING that I want to be around or to have my kids grow up around. I did know he smoked weed and was in a gang but he was going to stop when I found out i was pregnant.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *~* Superwoman *~*:</b>" not to sound like a bitch but why would ... [snip!] ... this? did you know how he was beforehand?"</blockquote> Exactly. You are going to have to deal with him for 18 years"

I know. & I HATE IT!!!! :/
my family says for me to not even worry about it because he probably wont go forth with getting an attorney anyways. But if he does do this then my parents said they will go half in half to get me an attorney if the state wont appoint me one.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dominicz&EmiliozMama:</b>" I know. & I HATE IT!!!! :/ my family says for me to not even worry about it because he probably ... [snip!] ... But if he does do this then my parents said they will go half in half to get me an attorney if the state wont appoint me one."</blockquote>




Yeah if he doesn't pay child support I don't see them giving him visitation everyday or half and half custody. To be honest. And with no job I don't see how he could be ordered to pay child support

Don't be surprised at all if they give him every other weekend... if not more than that. It's not too often that a dad doesn't get ANY visitation at all.
Both of you need to get your smurf together.

i wish yyou the best of luck but i agree with your parents he probally will not follow through.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Dominicz&EmiliozMama:</b>" I know. & I HATE IT!!!! :/ ... [snip!] ... everyday or half and half custody. To be honest. And with no job I don't see how he could be ordered to pay child support"

They order to pay child support even if he's unemployed. They will base it off a full time 40 hours a week job at minimum wage. They did that with my other sons dad.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dominicz&EmiliozMama:</b>" They order to pay child support even if he's unemployed. They will base it off a full time 40 hours a week job at minimum wage. They did that with my other sons dad. "</blockquote>




Ah okay. And they will give him some kind of visitation

Quoting ma ♥:" Don't be surprised at all if they give him every other weekend... if not more than that. It's not too often that a dad doesn't get ANY visitation at all. Both of you need to get your smurf together."

I have my smurf together. It's him... Any time he has asked to see him, I am the one who has driven an hour there so he could see him. He has never once came to where I live to see him. I have never told him NO that he could not see his child. I know it would not be in my childs best interest for him to even be around his dad at all.. But its his father so I know he will get to have him.
I figured they would give him at least every other weekend. I have no problem with that at all. He wont talk to me like a normal adult about the situation. He always wants to talk crap and yell and cuss me out for no reason. He doesnt know how to listen to anybody.

Quoting *~* Superwoman *~*:" i wish yyou the best of luck but i agree with your parents he probally will not follow through."

Thats what I was thinking. But I have never ever had any issues with my children. I am with both of my kids EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! I know I am a great mother and I've never ever been told any different.
I just think its stupid that he wants to do this. I told him he can have him when I go to school. Which would be EVERY Tuesday and Thursday from 3:30pm to 10:30pm and every other weekend on Saturdays and Sundays from 7:30am to 6pm.
But obviously he doesnt think thats enough time.

Quoting Dominicz&EmiliozMama:" I have my smurf together. It's him... Any time he has asked to see him, I am the one who has driven an ... [snip!] ... the situation. He always wants to talk crap and yell and cuss me out for no reason. He doesnt know how to listen to anybody."

Well maybe he wants to see the child but not you... He can see the child & not have to deal with you in the way he's dealing with you now. The courts will set up a really good plan that works for both of you, including transportation, who gets the baby what time, & so on. Hopefully with something set in stone like that he will act more mature... Good luck!

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Dominicz&EmiliozMama:</b>" They order to pay child support ... [snip!] ... They did that with my other sons dad. "</blockquote> Ah okay. And they will give him some kind of visitation"

Well on Monday we have court for just child support. Because I get cash assistance from the state. He told me if I wasnt lazy and would get a job then I wouldnt need to get cash assistance so I wouldnt need child support. Which I think is very low of him. I had a job at a warehouse making $9.50 an hour but I had to quit due to babysitting issues. & his dad wouldnt watch him so I was screwed.

Quoting Dominicz&EmiliozMama:" Thats what I was thinking. But I have never ever had any issues with my children. I am with both of ... [snip!] ... 10:30pm and every other weekend on Saturdays and Sundays from 7:30am to 6pm. But obviously he doesnt think thats enough time."

You can't be upset with him for asking for court ordered visitation... just like he can't be upset with you for asking for court ordered child support.