re: adhd and odd

Have you thought about bringing him to a child psychologist?

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" My bad, I was dealing with my own ... [snip!] ... just looking if any1 has and advice on how I can handle myself, I have 2 other children and its like I'm fully indulged in him,"

Yeah, but your worries are only feeding his disorder. Part of that is also being able to make people feel guilty into doing what he wants as well. He knows you love him, he is using the different dad thing to make you feel bad, so you wont punish him...for his actions. If he didn't know that he wouldn't feel guilty and say sorry later... You need to be consistent for him to change or he is going to continue doing it. I know it is hard but you got to be stronger. You are worried about his self-esteem...That is why i said, when he is being good give him lots of positive attention, and when he is bad, you indirectly correct the action so you are not feeding into his negative attention seeking. When he sees he can get attention from positive behavior and none from the negative, he will want to be good to get that praise and reward...make sure to give it...
Just trying to help but if you don't want to do that, I understand. My oldest 3 have different fathers and I don't allow that as an excuse in my home as they are all loved , treated, and punished equal and they know it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ♥:</b>" Have you thought about bringing him to a child psychologist? "</blockquote>




Yes, he's been, he's already on medication for the adhd, but the said they can't do much about the odd besides counseling, which dosnt seem to help because he dosnt talk to them, and if he even attempts to talk he starts crying, and then he has a meltdown...

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ♥:</b>" Have you thought about bringing him to a child ... [snip!] ... seem to help because he dosnt talk to them, and if he even attempts to talk he starts crying, and then he has a meltdown..."

DD was tested for ODD. She doesn't have it, but her psychiatrist still wanted her in counseling. Even if he doesn't talk, which is normal, he can sit there and listen. DD is in counseling for other issues and she doesn't talk at all. Flat out refuses and if she is made to talk she will scream and cry. I'm with her and I guess the counseling is more for me.... at the moment. It give me ideas on how to help her cope and deal with her feelings and emotions.

How old is your son?


I'd look into it if I was you. Find someone who specializes in ODD and go from there. Good luck to you and your son.

<blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" Yeah, but your worries are only feeding his disorder. Part of that is also being able to make people ... [snip!] ... fathers and I don't allow that as an excuse in my home as they are all loved , treated, and punished equal and they know it."</blockquote>




We've been doing a rewards chart, which has helped a lot... he has an incentive to behave... I've noticed he isn't as verbally abusive with teachers and myself, but I have never compared my kids, because my 1 year old is not dealing with what Dean is... his diagnosis aren't an excuse, and I don't let him use them to his advantage, we've been very involved with the *positive re enforcement* but I am at the point where my own body can't take the stress... when he has his meltdown, I leave him alone till he's ready to talk, he has no clue what I'm doing while he's screaming and destroying his room, but I'm usually having my own silent meltdown, into a pillow or something, my nerves are *shot

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" Yeah, but your worries are only feeding ... [snip!] ... and destroying his room, but I'm usually having my own silent meltdown, into a pillow or something, my nerves are *shot"

That is the thing, you are taking it as comparing the children. But, that is not what you are doing.... by doing this, You are setting a visual example for him to follow.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ♥:</b>" DD was tested for ODD. She doesn't have it, but her psychiatrist still wanted her in counseling. Even ... [snip!] ... son? I'd look into it if I was you. Find someone who specializes in ODD and go from there. Good luck to you and your son."</blockquote>




Thankyou   he's 6... we have kaiser, so they basically just stick u with whoever till u change it, his dr. Is very helpful, he is very spoiled, and even tho his dad was never diagnosed when the diagnosed dean and I looked into it, it just screams his dad... we grew up together, so I remember how he was in school, his dad ended up in prison before he started trying to act right... I guess I'm overly fearful of what this is doing to him in the long run....

I have no clue where to go from here...

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ♥:</b>" DD was tested for ODD. She doesn't have it, ... [snip!] ... right... I guess I'm overly fearful of what this is doing to him in the long run.... I have no clue where to go from here..."

I'm sorry Momma.   I know this is very difficult. I wish I had the magic answer for you. If you ever need to talk or vent feel free to PM me.

DD is also 6 yrs old.

<blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" That is the thing, you are taking it as comparing the children. But, that is not what you are doing.... by doing this, You are setting a visual example for him to follow."</blockquote>




Honestly, if I did that I believe he would hurt the baby... I complimented my 2 year old on a *castle* she made, he walked over and threw it across the room... and before that he was having a good day...
I guess what I'm saying is we can't really talk to him when he's like that, he starts screaming louder, we've already had cops and cps involved because his behaviour...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Meg ♥:</b>" I'm sorry Momma.   I know this is very difficult. I wish I had the magic answer for you. If you ever need to talk or vent feel free to PM me. DD is also 6 yrs old. "</blockquote>




Bellieve me id do or pay anything if I knew it would help... its like sometimes he's ok, like right now he's chasing the baby and there throwing the plastic balls around, u would never believe few hours ago he was ripping his homework and calling himself stupid and telling the baby he was stupid and no1 really likes him   its like jekyl n hyde...

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" That is the thing, you are taking ... [snip!] ... talk to him when he's like that, he starts screaming louder, we've already had cops and cps involved because his behaviour..."

Sorry to hear that.......I hope you find your answer. I gave you the best I had. I will tell you this. Fix it fast, all feelings to the side. I would hate for him to get taken away. My sister lost all of her kids because this. You remind me so much of her, the way you talk. Her kids are with our aunt now. Best wishes and good luck.

<blockquote><b>Quoting VERONICA. MOM OF 6:</b>" Sorry to hear that.......I hope you find your answer. I gave you the best I had. I will tell you this. ... [snip!] ... kids because this. You remind me so much of her, the way you talk. Her kids are with our aunt now. Best wishes and good luck."</blockquote>




We have 3 lawyers right now, there's no way they can take him for this we already had that smurf shut down, they are trying to close the case and and I'm currently sueing the school for how they handled the situation, something as easy as all that was because money seriously talks over here, but when it comes to something I can't pay or buy my way out of and it effects not just 1 kid, its my whole fam...