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I don't expect gifts as an adult, nor do I give them to adults. SO and I have a rule of never giving gifts. If we want to buy something for the other, it's because we want to, not because it's a holiday. Family-wise, my family is too damn big. It would be a fortune.

I buy gifts for my immediate family; parents, siblings, hubby. Otherwise no. I don't expect anything either (especially since my mom's family isn't well off).

that's not right at all, that they are like that.


Christmas is a holiday to spend with family, not about who brings gifts & what not.



In my family, it's all about the kids, us adults do not expect gifts at all.

I get gifts from my parents and grandparents and I buy for them also.

But I don't expect anything. I wouldn't mind at all if I didn't get anything and they spent the money getting me stuff on DD instead.

I don't expect one. My parents and in laws always give one anyway. I just give everyone cookies.. We don't have money to buy gifts for everyone, and the focus is on the kids.

Quoting Ryloonjimama:" Do you expect gifts? In my family, we have always bought for the kids and centred Christmas around their ... [snip!] ... "well I'm not buying anyone a gift who doesn't buy me one." Like they honestly just have no idea about what it means to GIVE."

Most of the adults in my family don't do gifts. We used to do a gift exchange, but since a lot of them work construction a lot of them really didn't have the money so we stopped a few years ago. There is a rule now that we don't buy for any of the adults (so no one feels like they should have bought something if they get something) and we only buy for the kids. I'm happy that way.

Me personally, NO I dont expect or even want gifts. My SO on the other hand, he thinks since he had a smurffy xmas's as a child that he now deserves the world. His mother is the same way.

Usually every year, I tell all adults that we're only buying for children. That's for immediate family only!

They don't like it? Tough smurf. I don't expect anything from them.

ETA: Regarding nieces and nephews, all us in laws decided a long time ago (Since we all live far apart), that instead of shipping presents, or money. We agree on a spending limit. So Aaron and I will buy X amount of gifts for our LO's and mark each gift from different relatives, and they will buy their LO's a gift, and mark it from us.

No, the only ones who get presents are the kids 10 and younger. Everyone else usually gets a giftcard from my grandparents for like 5 bucks to starbucks but we don't expect it. We do a gift exchange so everyone else does get a gift, but not everyone has to join.

I HATE the idea of buying gifts for adults. We never did it in my family, but DH's they all do, so I'm stuck buying a gift for his mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandparents on BOTH sides, his brother, and his brother's gf. It's ridiculous! It's supposed to be about the kids, and we never ask for gifts, but we are supposed to buy something for everyone else. I absolutely hate it.

i mean i dont ask for anything, and i dont automatically expect to get anything however i know i will always get stuff from my mom, my dad/stepmom, and then my stepmoms parents and her sisters family. im lucky enough to have such a generous family

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" I don't expect gifts as an adult, nor do I give them to adults. SO and I have a rule of never giving ... [snip!] ... the other, it's because we want to, not because it's a holiday. Family-wise, my family is too damn big. It would be a fortune."</blockquote>


This is the same for us. I was just adding in the OP that we don't even buy gifts for each other. You bring a good point about if you do it's not because it's a holiday... I guess that's what is different is that in my family, we got a lot of stuff just for no particular reason because my mum would always sacrifice her wants to make sure we got nice things all year round... but for SO's family, his mum has a serious gambling problem and Christmas is really the only time her kids get stuff, and even then, she will pawn their gaming systems afterwards... it's just horrible.

SO has been with my family since he was 16 though so I'm really glad he never got into the habit of thinking what his mum did was okay.

no one in my family gets gifts over 18. Unless a SO is getting it for you, your siblings or your kids. Its just way too many little ones to buy for in my huge ass family.

I only buy for my immediate family, my nieces, and my younger sister and then my mom and dh oir kids. we dont have a ton of money so my mom is really the only adult I shop for. And my grandma.