4 y/o yelled at me!

Well.. lately my daughter has had quite the attitude, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to handle it. Just a few minutes ago, she yelled at me because I wouldn't let her take her shirt off. She tried telling me that she was too hot, so I suggested she put a different shirt on, and then she started yelling and crying because she didn't want to wear a shirt at all. Anyways, it's been happening a lot lately over things that really are not a big deal, and I'm not sure how to handle it. I have sat down and talked to her, I have told her that she is not to yell at me as I don't yell at her. I told her that she can just talk to me and that I will listen, she doesn't need to yell.. etc. She doesn't get it though, every time she gets frustrated she begins to raise her voice and starts to cry. It's a side of her that I have never seen before, usually, she is laid back and relaxed. I don't know where she has picked up this attitude from. I don't yell often, at all.. so I don't understand why she feels like that's how she should deal with her emotions. When she does yell, I can just see how frustrated she is, but I don't understand why such small things have been impacting her so much. She has been doing great at preschool, they're always telling me what a joy she is, and as far as her dad tells me she has been great there too (she is with him every other weekend). I am the only one she has yelled at thus far, and I don't know why?!?!

How do you deal with this behavior if you have dealt with it

TIA.

Girls are dramatic, attitude filled little creatures. I wish I had answers for you. But remember this, what may seem like a little thing to you, could be a major thing for her. Pick your battles. Giving in isn't always a good thing, but there are times where you have to realize that it's something huge, major and important to them. Not wearing a shirt at home isn't the same as pitching a fit then giving in to the ice cream before dinner.

i give her a warning and tell her that she needs to calm down and if she keeps yelling at me she's not going to get what she wants. if she keeps yelling she goes to time out

Watching, My 2 almost 3 year old does this all the time.

Quoting jaela's♥mommy {BBM}:" i give her a warning and tell her that she needs to calm down and if she keeps yelling at me she's not going to get what she wants. if she keeps yelling she goes to time out"

This is a good suggestion. My daughter is 9 and holy hell the screaming fits that come out of her.......I send her to her room until she can speak to me calmly when she gets like that.

my 4 year old is the same way. if she yells, i tell her that i'm not listening to her until she uses her "nice voice".
if she continues, toys get taken away. timeouts are a joke to her.

Quoting Moses.:" This is a good suggestion. My daughter is 9 and holy hell the screaming fits that come out of her.......I send her to her room until she can speak to me calmly when she gets like that."

This is exactly what I just had to do because there was no compromise. There was nothing that I could say that was getting through to her, so I ended up sitting her in her room. I just went in and talked to her and she said "I wanna tell you the truth....I'm not hot.." and now she is perfectly fine.. playing with the dog and the cat. I feel like it's almost a control issue, just to see where she can get acting like that, kinda thing.!

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommyOFoscar&arianna:</b>" Watching, My 2 almost 3 year old does this all the time. "</blockquote>



Sobdoes mine. Little attitude this girl has. She stomps her feet at me and makes ugly faces

Quoting K&T:" This is exactly what I just had to do because there was no compromise. There was nothing that I could ... [snip!] ... the dog and the cat. I feel like it's almost a control issue, just to see where she can get acting like that, kinda thing.!"

My daughter started at 3. I still even remember the very first yelling tantrum she threw, it was over an ice cream at 11 pm. And it hasn't stopped since lol. She now gets into these fits where she yells, throws things and hits walls and kicks whatever she can. It gets to the point I have to "lock" her in her room until she is calm because she will hurt me or one of her brothers unintentionally. I have took her to counselors trying to find a cause and all I get is she's a very happy, healthy child   She is NEVER like this anywhere else. She hasn't even gotten an S in citizenship in school, only E's. Just with me she goes into these yelling fits. I thought it was just a "girl" thing.

At 4 she should be taught that her behavior is unacceptable. One warning should be given and then punishments should be given after that. It seems to me that she continues doing that after your talks because...well... There isn't a reason not too. Her punishment should make the behavior not worth doing.

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" At 4 she should be taught that her behavior is unacceptable. One warning should be given and then punishments ... [snip!] ... that after your talks because...well... There isn't a reason not too. Her punishment should make the behavior not worth doing."

Lol, she does have punishments. Usually it's along the lines of a time out, or I will take away her T.V privilege, etc. We do also do a sticker chart so when she misbehaves she doesn't get a sticker, which usually is a huge deal to her because after she collects 15 stickers she gets to pick a toy. I'm just not used to dealing with this, because up until this point all I needed to do was talk to her and she would listen. I always end up feeling bad putting her in time out and what not, even though I know I need to do it. I sometimes wonder if it doesn't have something to do with us moving in with my boyfriend, though they get along great. She gets more attention then she did when it was just her and I because I don't have to work full time, I only have to go to school and stay there no later than 2. I do make sure she knows it wrong, but I'm not one for harsh punishments.

<blockquote><b>Quoting K&T:</b>" Lol, she does have punishments. Usually it's along the lines of a time out, or I will take away her ... [snip!] ... have to go to school and stay there no later than 2. I do make sure she knows it wrong, but I'm not one for harsh punishments. "</blockquote>




If the punishment doesn't eventually stop the behavior, then it isn't working. She apparently doesn't mind the punishment enough to stop. You may not be one for harsh punishment but you obviously need to try a different punishment than you're using.

There was a time when my son would scream like I beat him when I put him in timeout. That punishment worked or a while and stopped his bad behavior but eventually he would do something that he knew was wrong and say " I know mommy... I'm going to the naughty chair" then skip happily to the naughty chair . Obviously that punishment was no longer effective. So it needed to change.

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" <blockquote><b>Quoting K&T:</b>" Lol, she does have punishments. Usually it's along ... [snip!] ... chair" then skip happily to the naughty chair . Obviously that punishment was no longer effective. So it needed to change."

The punishment does work though.. lol. Yesterday after she was in time out she said sorry without being asked and was great for the rest of the day. I am more concerned with why the behavior is happening rather than how to deal with her afterwards. .

<blockquote><b>Quoting K&T:</b>" The punishment does work though.. lol. Yesterday after she was in time out she said sorry without being ... [snip!] ... for the rest of the day. I am more concerned with why the behavior is happening rather than how to deal with her afterwards. ."</blockquote>




Oh.., its happening because she's 4.   I'm sure she's just testing her limits.