re: Is this selfish?

<blockquote><b>Quoting TrollMama:</b>" Did she have the baby and try to put him up for adoption after the c section? As far as I can tell, ... [snip!] ... to bet that it will not be the case when he's born!!! She has no idea what it will be like until he's born. None of us do."</blockquote>




The question was is it selfish for her to THINK that. Of course once the baby is born she can change her mind hope she does. But for her to Think that before hand is idiotic. Imo. PERIOD!

Quoting TrollMama:" I'm not trying to validate the woman's ideas about giving her child up because of a c-section! It's ludicrous. ... [snip!] ... to point out the horrible parts of their births and pregnancies? Expectations do a lot for people who need coping mechanisms."

Eh, she doesn't sound like she really should have a kid if this is how she feels.

Quoting TrollMama:" How many ladies have abortions because they are not eager to experience birth? Or the raising of a child? ... [snip!] ... able to see that they mean more to you than your down feelings. Doesn't always work like that, being a mom is pretty complex."

PPD is not at ALL comparible  

This woman stated that BECAUSE of having a c-section, she was giving up her baby.

Pretty simple.
I think she did the right thing, though

Quoting ~*VINTAGE LOVE*~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TrollMama:</b>" Please dont bring up abortion since this is not what this thread is about."

I don't wish to get into the abortion debate with anybody, I'm just saying... the woman said she wanted to give her baby up out of fear or resentment(of the c-section). I think lots of people give their babies up, in more ways than one, for fear and resentment, just not usually for something as specific as the c-section itself. It's not nice to think that mothers could resent their children but I'm sure many do and I'm sure they also realize it's unfair and that's all I'm saying. Lady needs to reconsider, and she probably will which is what most of us in this thread are discounting. I'm just trying to understand where she's coming from and honestly, I can. I don't condone the action she's proposing, but I can understand her "planning" something ludicrous rather than dealing with an undesirable outcome.

Ohh so it already happened and she is still planning to give the child up?

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~*VINTAGE LOVE*~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... was better for him..."</blockquote> But did you had hatred towards your baby to the point you didnt want to keep him?"</blockquote>




No, never... that's why I said in my post earlier that it was very selfish and stupid...
I felt it wasn't *ok* for me to see the baby because I was scared of how *I would feel* seeing him like that and not being able to do anything to help him.
that was selfish on my part and just a way I thought would help me cope better.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~*VINTAGE LOVE*~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... was better for him..."</blockquote> But did you had hatred towards your baby to the point you didnt want to keep him?"</blockquote>




No, never... that's why I said in my post earlier that it was very selfish and stupid...
I felt it wasn't *ok* for me to see the baby because I was scared of how *I would feel* seeing him like that and not being able to do anything to help him.
that was selfish on my part and just a way I thought would help me cope better.

She's a dumbass,that's all there is to it. She also need's to have her tubes BURNED to keep her from reproducing in the future.

Ummm...wierd.

I would think a Mothers love goes way deeper than weather the baby came out of their vagina, or a surgical incision.

I had both of my children vaginal, yet I do not understand this mentality.
Those are my babies, I live & breathe for them regardless if they came out of my ass or my nostrils.

Quoting Rabbit™ {24wks}:" I just read about a woman who wants to give her baby up for adoption because her doctor said she'll need ... [snip!] ... her doctor said she'll need a c-section and now she feels like she can't bond with the baby. Would you consider this selfish?"

No, I'd simply wonder how the hell that makes any smurfing sense. :/

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~JeNn~ BeAn~:</b>" I would consider her an idiot!"</blockquote>




Me too

She probably didn't want the baby to begin with and is using this as a way of justifying it to others.

Sad. I know we're all wired differently, but if I had to deliver my son by cesarean rather than vaginally, I'd love him regardless. I'm glad I didn't have to deliver by cesarean, but if it came to that, my child's health and safe delivery would be my only concern.