re: Is this selfish?

Quoting TrollMama:" Well... some people have really bad birth experiences. Like, horror stories. They need counseling and ... [snip!] ... important than the child but birth is an experience and like any other, not all of them are good. Or even tolerable, sometimes."

I'm sorry but I can't even fathom how the way my child came into this earth would matter when in the end, my child was alive and healthy. I think more focus should remain on that vs how the child got here.
But I realize some people need an excuse or validation to live in the past and be crazy.

Quoting TrollMama:" Well... some people have really bad birth experiences. Like, horror stories. They need counseling and ... [snip!] ... important than the child but birth is an experience and like any other, not all of them are good. Or even tolerable, sometimes."

But every birth is different so this girl can't go off of someone elses experience and obviously not her own since it doesn't sound like she's had a c section before. Nobody ever said giving birth was easy but you get the best thing ever in return so who cares how you got them here as long as they are healthy :/

Quoting TrollMama:" Well... some people have really bad birth experiences. Like, horror stories. They need counseling and ... [snip!] ... important than the child but birth is an experience and like any other, not all of them are good. Or even tolerable, sometimes."

It's called get the smurf over it and get on with life  

Wallowing in self pity over something you cannot control is completely smurfing stupid.

Quoting Just Ames:" I'm sorry but I can't even fathom how the way my child came into this earth would matter when in the ... [snip!] ... on that vs how the child got here. But I realize some people need an excuse or validation to live in the past and be crazy."

  yes!

Not selfish but misguided at best

Quoting Just Ames:" Some people really do care more about their "birth experience" than the actual baby. It's quite sad actually."

Very sad indeed.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rabbit™ {24wks}:</b>" That's why I asked. Everyone's saying she's being selfish, but I see it more as stupid. "</blockquote>




Is both and beyond.

Quoting .Colleen.:" It's called get the smurf over it and get on with life   Wallowing in self pity over something you cannot control is completely smurfing stupid."

a-freakin-men

I'm not trying to validate the woman's ideas about giving her child up because of a c-section! It's ludicrous. However, I think the way we respond to a woman's fears about childbirth is totally backwards. We are sitting here calling her crazy. What people should be doing is telling her it's normal to freak the smurf out and redirect her batsmurf ideas. Anybody else noticed that people are super quick to point out the horrible parts of their births and pregnancies? Expectations do a lot for people who need coping mechanisms.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TrollMama:</b>" I'm not trying to validate the woman's ideas about giving her child up because of a c-section! It's ludicrous. ... [snip!] ... to point out the horrible parts of their births and pregnancies? Expectations do a lot for people who need coping mechanisms."</blockquote>




Sorry but that is unheard of hoe many ladies have csections and eager to se their babies not give them up for adoption.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~*VINTAGE LOVE*~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting TrollMama:</b>" I'm not trying to validate the woman's ideas ... [snip!] ... Sorry but that is unheard of hoe many ladies have csections and eager to se their babies not give them up for adoption."</blockquote>



I kinda didn't want to see Dean after he was born, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold/ touch him so I just wanted to wait for him to have his surgery and when I got to spend all day with him, I wanted to see him... my mom talked me into to seeing him before they transported him and I think it made it worse for me, but he knew I was there and who I was, so in the end it was better for him...

<blockquote><b>Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~*VINTAGE LOVE*~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting TrollMama:</b>" ... [snip!] ... him and I think it made it worse for me, but he knew I was there and who I was, so in the end it was better for him..."</blockquote>




But did you had hatred towards your baby to the point you didnt want to keep him?

How many ladies have abortions because they are not eager to experience birth? Or the raising of a child? They just were afraid of all of it and not just the C section, as this woman seems to be. This is this woman's way of saying she'd rather "take it back" than move forward.

I'm also certain there are many women who have c sections or traumatic births that do not bond with their babies right away. They may see them out of a sense of duty (who is gonna admit they don't want to see their newborn!??!?! They'll be called crazy, or a bitch, or heartless, and chances are they're already saying that to themselves) but they also are really struggling emotionally. It's a conflicting feeling when you are disappointed in your birth experience but you still love your child. Sometimes that love doesn't negate everything else. It's like saying post partum depression means you don't love your kid, or if you did love your kid, you'd be able to see that they mean more to you than your down feelings. Doesn't always work like that, being a mom is pretty complex.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TrollMama:</b>" How many ladies have abortions because they are not eager to experience birth? Or the raising of a child? ... [snip!] ... able to see that they mean more to you than your down feelings. Doesn't always work like that, being a mom is pretty complex."</blockquote>




Slow your roll I think you are mixing things around here. Is totally normal even after a vaginal delivery to not want to see your baby right away but to at least know they are fine. Same goes for a csection. But to have hatetd or blame the baby for having a csection is stupid. Please dont bring up abortion since this is not what this thread is about.

Quoting ~*VINTAGE LOVE*~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... was better for him..."</blockquote> But did you had hatred towards your baby to the point you didnt want to keep him?"

Did she have the baby and try to put him up for adoption after the c section? As far as I can tell, no, it hasn't happened. I mean I didn't read the article. So even if she thinks she might want to not keep him due to the section, I'm going to bet that it will not be the case when he's born!!! She has no idea what it will be like until he's born. None of us do.