re: I dont know if I was raped or not

Quoting That-Girl:" Great advice! I'm am sure when OP gets her time machine all fixed she will go back and suggest a trip ... [snip!] ... am sure you have hoped a guy a better intentions than he ended up having, or were alone with someone you didn't know that well."

lol
It's just common sense.

Quoting Logan and Noah's Momma :" One thing i don't understand..Is why would you go anywhere alone with him in the first place? Try maybe ... [snip!] ... fault..However with everything he was asking of you, all of those intentions seemed as though he wanted only one thing. Sex."

Sure she made some not so smart choices, but that certainly does not make being raped ok.

Quoting .Colleen.:" Sure she made some not so smart choices, but that certainly does not make being raped ok."

Of course being raped isn't okay..It's a horrible thing for anyone to experience. I never said it was.

Quoting Logan and Noah's Momma :" lol It's just common sense."

And how is it helpful?

Quoting That-Girl:" And how is it helpful?"

I'm not her therapist..I gave my input, you can not agree with it, that's just fine with me.

Quoting That-Girl:" And how is it helpful?"

How is anything else helpful? She's an adult and has a child... I'm sure she knows it should be reported and she should be tested. None of what was posted was rocket science. Harping on people is making you look really annoying.

Here's a good one... how about someone suggests she stops calling/messaging him?

Quoting Logan and Noah's Momma :" Of course being raped isn't okay..It's a horrible thing for anyone to experience. I never said it was."

So then what are you trying to accomplish?
The OP has already said that she feels what she did was stupid.

If you believe she was raped, and you believe it wasn't her fault, why are the answers to any of the things you're asking relevant? Yes, these things would be asked in court/by the police, but only for the purposes of establishing that a rape actually occurred. You've already said it was rape.

Quoting tinana +2:" How is anything else helpful? She's an adult and has a child... I'm sure she knows it should be reported ... [snip!] ... and she should be tested. None of what was posted was rocket science. Harping on people is making you look really annoying."

Calling me ignorant after I called you ignorant?

Burn!

Quoting tinana +2:" How is anything else helpful? She's an adult and has a child... I'm sure she knows it should be reported ... [snip!] ... and she should be tested. None of what was posted was rocket science. Harping on people is making you look really annoying."

I don't think anything any of us has to say would be really helpful but that's just me. It's a pretty smurffy situation.

Quoting That Girl.:" I don't think anything any of us has to say would be really helpful but that's just me. It's a pretty smurffy situation."

Agree completely.

Quoting Logan and Noah's Momma :" Of course being raped isn't okay..It's a horrible thing for anyone to experience. I never said it was."

then why are you bothering to remind her that she made some questionable choices?

She seems well aware of it

Quoting That-Girl:" Calling me ignorant after I called you ignorant? Burn!"

What?? Maybe you should re-read what you quoted?

Burrrrn.

What bothers me so much about this thread is that I assume the responses might be indicitive of public response in real life.
This sort of senseless victim blaming is what makes women reluctant to report things and what makes douche bags like this guy think that they can get away with it.

Quoting tinana +2:" How is anything else helpful? She's an adult and has a child... I'm sure she knows it should be reported ... [snip!] ... people is making you look really annoying. Here's a good one... how about someone suggests she stops calling/messaging him? "

Have you ever been raped or sexually violated?

I was molested as a child.
Telling someone how they should have used "common sense" and insinuating that they somehow did something to invite it to happen isn't helpful. It's one of the reasons I was to afraid to come forward. You already feel like it's your fault.

OP has already stated she feels she is "stupid".
The only "harping" and "annoying" behavior in this thread is coming from the people who are further trying to reiterate what she already said she feels.

Quoting That-Girl:" What bothers me so much about this thread is that I assume the responses might be indicitive of public ... [snip!] ... is what makes women reluctant to report things and what makes douche bags like this guy think that they can get away with it."