A Father that needs your help

hello hello,
I feel a little foolish posting on this site but i know ill get the truth from women.
hope i dont bore you if you choose to read...lol
Anyway my wife and 3 year old are from nova scotia but moved to alberta 3 years ago. The prob is that we cant afford to pay for 3 ppl to fly home on xmas its just to much ....so my wifes parents pay for the bulk of it. Last year when we went home to N.S my wife and baby stayed at my mothers place for 5 days and spend 3 weeks at her folks house....my mother never gets to see the baby its always her family that gets her....but i cant say nothing b/c her parents pay for us to go down so...but anyway for this xmas its the same....and my wife said this morning " my mom wants you to spend xmas day at their fams house" and im like....well that is kind of mean dont ya think? we go down.....my mom sees the baby for 5 days.....then i leave her to go spend xmas with your fam....when your family has the baby for 3 weeks again this year.
My father and sister passed from cancer and the only person mom has left is debbie ...my other sis and her 2 kids....deb works on xmas day and the kids go with their dad ...so mom would be alone on xmas day if i leave her...
also....we got to go home 2 summers ago and the baby was with her family the whole summer and with mine a week.....wifes mother flew out here a month ago to stay with us a week......its just her fam sees the baby alotttttt more and i told the wife that and she gets pissed saying her fam is guna think im weird never wanting to spend xmas with my kid....and it pissed me off coz obv i want to! i just dont wana leave my mother alone..shes almost 70 . i asked her to spend xmas with my fam this year and she says" ahhh no you only have like a few ppl in your family i have a huge one" lol like wtf is the diff? ....she just dosent want to ..but yet shes getting mad at me for not wanting to with her fam...ahh it sounds confusing prehapes??? lol ....but anyway im feeling like a bad guy now for wanting to be with my mother...and i feel that the wife and her fam and being kinda selfesh .....its like they dont clue in that their stealing the baby from my family...and its all b/c of smurfing money.....they pay for us to go home so i guess they get the baby the whole time....makes me even more mad that i cant sya anything about it b/c it does mean alot to me that they pay for it...if they didnt my little girl wouldnt get to see anyone from home...point is am i wrong for wanting to stay with mom? or should i leave her to stay with her fam and my kid......just need some thoughts! thanks for reading guys lol

I dont think you are wrong for wanting to see your mom. I would go spend chrismtas with your mom.

It should be a year by year thing. One year Wife's family, next year yours. Regardless of who pays for the ticket. Just because they offer to help out, doesn't mean they can dictate how your time is spent. Your Wife sounds like she is being selfish.

Can you just spend half of Christmas Day with your mom and half with her family? Or tell her you'll go see her family on Christmas Eve and your mother on Christmas Day.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" I dont think you are wrong for wanting to see your mom. I would go spend chrismtas with your mom. "

 

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Mama G*:</b>" Can you just spend half of Christmas Day with your mom and half with her family? Or tell her you'll go see her family on Christmas Eve and your mother on Christmas Day."</blockquote>




This all the way!

Quoting daddy mack:" hello hello, I feel a little foolish posting on this site but i know ill get the truth from women. hope ... [snip!] ... stay with mom? or should i leave her to stay with her fam and my kid......just need some thoughts! thanks for reading guys lol "

I think your wife is not making your mom a priority  

I'm willing to bet that even though your in-laws are paying, they would still want her to have time with your family and not be left alone.

Is speaking directly to the inlaws an option?

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" It should be a year by year thing. One year Wife's family, next year yours. Regardless of who pays for ... [snip!] ... they offer to help out, doesn't mean they can dictate how your time is spent. Your Wife sounds like she is being selfish."

I agree 100% thank you

Is there anyway that you could bring your mother to your wife's family christmas?

That sounds extremely selfish of them. But if they aren't willing to agree with you, could you possible get your mother and have her go with you to your wifes family side?

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" It should be a year by year thing. One year Wife's family, next year yours. Regardless of who pays for ... [snip!] ... they offer to help out, doesn't mean they can dictate how your time is spent. Your Wife sounds like she is being selfish."

 
I agree 100%! My brother does this. On odd years our family gets to see the kids on Thanksgiving. On even years we get to see them on Christmas. It works out great

Could your mom come with you on Christmas day to her family's place? Mix family time so everyone can see the baby and you can still spend time with your mom?

If you guys are going there every year it should definately be a every other year thing. It is not unreasonable you want to be with your family on Christmas. If my husband did that to me it would be a war of the roses. Can you talk to her mother directly and explain the situation?

is there anyway your mom can join with your in-laws and everyone can all be together?

How far apart are the grandparents houses?

Your family comes before you mom. I would not leave them to be with your mom, I would take them with me, and if your wife wont go, fine, but you can take your kid.

Dont forget, this is your child too...mama doesnt get to call all the shots. If she wants to stay with her family that fine, doesnt mean you and the child do.