Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:" I'm not saying at all that I want him in our lives with the way he is now. I'm just having trouble with ... [snip!] ... it. I would never allow him in my sons life if he wasn't completely sober and living a different lifestyle than what he is now."
Is he trying to be? When SO and I split(I left him due to heroin abuse) he took me to court for joint custody. They drug tested him randomly or about 2 1/2 months and he failed every one. Then they finally court ordered him to detox and rehab. He got clean and he's the best dad in the world now!!
Maybe you can help him out?