Please give me a little reason to why you said stay or go.

My fiance and father of my 2 boys continues to think negatively and says our relationship won't change and refuses to get counseling or go to church or anything of an outside source that I have suggested could help us. He has major trust issues, doesn't trust anyone and bluntly lets me know he will never trust me. I kissed a girl 10 years ago when I was 17 and drunk, well it's 10 years later and we have to boys are engaged and he still isn't over it. He says I act shady, he checks my phone and most of the time gives me a guilt trip when I've done nothing wrong. I don't go out, I don't talk to any old friends anymore. I spend my days with our boys and go to my families house or walmart/target. He goes out, gets drunk at the bar with his cousin and I never say anything; I don't mind because I trust him. But he continues to say we are growing apart and he is constantly worrying what I am doing to the point where he says it's taking a toll on his heart and he thinks I am lying to him all the time. He's always telling me that he knows he is not the person I wanted to be with and that he thinks he's not the one for me, etc. It just seems like his insecurity issues and trust issues are really getting in the way of us moving forward.

I don't know if I should give him the space he's asked for or continue to try to convince him I want this relationship but in a happier and healthier way.

Why does it matter if you kissed a girl 10 years ago...were you two daten? If not, then it's none of his business what you did before y'all got together.

You should find out why he doesn't trust you. Maybe he's doing something behind your back and he's guilty?

If he won't accept help, it's over unless you're fine with living the rest of your life in that environment

Quoting I♥MyTots:" Why does it matter if you kissed a girl 10 years ago...were you two daten? If not, then it's none of ... [snip!] ... got together. You should find out why he doesn't trust you. Maybe he's doing something behind your back and he's guilty?"

Yes we were together. We just started dating, probably a few months in, but I've never cheated with a guy or done anything else. He just says I act shady and I know he hasn't gotten over that incident, which is terrible because people do much worse and don't pay as long. He also thinks I still want to be with my ex, before him which I dated when I was 15 for 2 years in high school. I am 27 now! Plus I haven't even seen my ex's face, heard his voice, etc in over 5 years!I just don't know what to do to convince him I am faithful and honest with him and his constant quilt trips and such are starting to push me away and he see's this. I am not as affectionate because he says things to me that hurt my feelings and won't apologize and it's starting to get to me, but I still want this to work.

I'm sorry but I think that your relationship is not a healthy one. You are right to want to fix things and move forward, but he seems to have serious issues which go beyond trust issues. You're isolating yourself (not going out, not spending time with friends or interacting with others) which to me, shows how much control he has over you. The fact he uses something so minor that happened a decade ago against you just speaks volumes to me   I hope you find the strength to do what you feel is the right thing, in your heart for yourself and especially for your children. Good luck.

Quoting kyannasaurus:" I'm sorry but I think that your relationship is not a healthy one. You are right to want to fix things ... [snip!] ... the strength to do what you feel is the right thing, in your heart for yourself and especially for your children. Good luck."

It definately is unhealthy right now, but I feel bad for him because I think he is depressed and I don't know why or what to do to help him. We were happy before and he is a good dad and a good person. He's never cheated or been physical with me and I just know the good guy that he can be and used to be, but it seems lately his moods are so up and down and he is mad at me most of the time for no reason or for past reasons; it's just ridiculous. I love him and my family, I want my kids to have both parents in a happy home, but I am just being pushed further and further away because of his issues and I am finding it harder to reel myself back in, in a sense.

Quoting Juhsteen:" It definately is unhealthy right now, but I feel bad for him because I think he is depressed and I don't ... [snip!] ... just being pushed further and further away because of his issues and I am finding it harder to reel myself back in, in a sense."

Would he consider individual and family therapy or counselling? What about you? Maybe if he sees how willing you are to work on your relationship and be together as a family he'll take serious steps to work on himself too.

Quoting kyannasaurus:" Would he consider individual and family therapy or counselling? What about you? Maybe if he sees how ... [snip!] ... how willing you are to work on your relationship and be together as a family he'll take serious steps to work on himself too. "

I have told him so many times that I think we need marriage counseling because right now what we have been doing is not working so we need something different, he says he doesn't need a counseling and when we've argued before he has even said to me maybe I am the one who needs a counselor   I have told him many times that I want to be here, I want us as a family together and happy and how I see us happier but we need to put in some real work, etc, etc. I have told him things that I wish he would change for 1, trust me and don't question me and accuse me of smurf all the time 2, quit smoking pot! I smurfing hate this mainly because the smell, but he wasn't working until recently and I told him he needed to get a job and with jobs come drug tests, so he found a job where he didn't have to be tested and continues! and a few other minor things but he says I am the one who stays the same and I am the one who doesn't change. His issue with me is I am not affectionate towards him and I try to tell him it's hard to be affectionate when someone is always questioning me and telling me they don't want to be with me. But yes, I am willing to do counseling.

Quoting Juhsteen:" I have told him so many times that I think we need marriage counseling because right now what we have ... [snip!] ... when someone is always questioning me and telling me they don't want to be with me. But yes, I am willing to do counseling."

I'm so sorry, he doesn't seem very supportive   If I were in your situation I would find myself a good counselor anyways, just because it really does help to talk to someone to sort out some of the worries. Whenever I see mine I come home and feel a lot more confident and less stressed. If anything, it would help you, and that is a good thing.

Yes it's time to move on.

Quoting taylorgurl:" Yes it's time to move on."

I concur.

Usually if they are blaming you like that, they are the ones cheating.