Step-parent discipline differences

What would you do if you ended up in a relationship (with someone who is not the parent of your first child) and they had different ideas of how they should discipline your older child?

Quoting TantricLemons:" What would you do if you ended up in a relationship (with someone who is not the parent of your first child) and they had different ideas of how they should discipline your older child?"

Well, I wouldn't let them discipline my child so I don't think it would matter. He would just have to suck it up or peace out.

Maybe.. hard to say unless you know the whole situation, like if he had been there since birth or something it might be different.

See if u guys can come to a common ground, that way its a win win for everyone. Do you guys have a child together?

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" Well, I wouldn't let them discipline my child so I don't think it would matter. He would just have to ... [snip!] ... hard to say unless you know the whole situation, like if he had been there since birth or something it might be different. "

That is how I feel to. And I am not really down for anything but honestly.

Quoting Christina143:" See if u guys can come to a common ground, that way its a win win for everyone. Do you guys have a child together?"

How can you compromise though when it comes to how your kid is raised? When you know the choices you have made for them are right for you. Especially if they person isn't your kids parent. Yes there is another child.

It would depend on a lot of different things, but we would have to find a compromise. I am absolutely NOT okay with some things, and I wouldn't be willing to compromise on those (like spanking).

Quoting TantricLemons:" That is how I feel to. And I am not really down for anything but honestly."

Then that's how it's gotta be, I mean if he was in a position to co-parent with you then you would know it better than me. You can't compromise with your child, IMO. Especially since you have a very particular way of parenting. You can't just come in and smurf with that.

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" Then that's how it's gotta be, I mean if he was in a position to co-parent with you then you would know ... [snip!] ... with your child, IMO. Especially since you have a very particular way of parenting. You can't just come in and smurf with that. "

It really irritates me is the fact that his behavior and attitude towards her has changed towards the end of my pregnancy and the baby being born. Its like... smurf you, you can't treat my kid different now just because we have another. UGH He acts like she can't do anything right, and wants to micromanage her. The problem IMO is the thought that she is somehow a bad kid because she wants to test limits and not listen... she is almost 4. That is what they do. It is not a sign I failed as a parent.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" It really irritates me is the fact that his behavior and attitude towards her has changed towards the ... [snip!] ... she wants to test limits and not listen... she is almost 4. That is what they do. It is not a sign I failed as a parent."</blockquote>



Uh no.. Is this is first baby? EVERY four year old does that, it's them developing their own identity. That's a hard situation because obviously you know he has a say in how you guys raise the new baby, but it's not exactly fair to raise the new baby differently than Mia.


I dunno... That's rough.

I'm uncomfortable with the idea of compromising my parenting style because a new baby and a new spouse are in the picture, that's a lot of change for one little girl. IMO anyway,

My step kids are terrorist towards me and yet I dont feel like its my place to discipline his kids but I do tell them how I feel about things the first time and after that I go to him to do something about them because I would let him discipline my kids from a previous relationship...

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" It really irritates me is the fact that ... [snip!] ... parenting style because a new baby and a new spouse are in the picture, that's a lot of change for one little girl. IMO anyway,"

I am REALLY uncomfortable with compromising my parenting. I have raised her the way I want her being raised. He didn't help bring her up, honestly I don't think he should be disciplining her anyways. My kid comes first, having a new baby doesnt change that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" I am REALLY uncomfortable with compromising my parenting. I have raised her the way I want her being ... [snip!] ... her up, honestly I don't think he should be disciplining her anyways. My kid comes first, having a new baby doesnt change that."</blockquote>


I agree, I think you have your answer. You just gotta tell him that you know how to be a mother and you aren't just winging it. You would like to parent both children the same way so your household can have some consistency. If he can't respect that then he needs to let you do your own thing with your daughter. She is yours after all.

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" I am REALLY uncomfortable with compromising ... [snip!] ... consistency. If he can't respect that then he needs to let you do your own thing with your daughter. She is yours after all."

I am really good about letting my daughters father parent her the way he sees fit as long as its with love. I am not new to co-parenting. But in my house MY child will be disciplined my way. The compromise comes when the kid is theirs to.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" I am really good about letting my daughters father parent her the way he sees fit as long as its with ... [snip!] ... not new to co-parenting. But in my house MY child will be disciplined my way. The compromise comes when the kid is theirs to."</blockquote>




Right, but I personally don't think a child will benefit from 3 different parenting styles.

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TantricLemons:</b>" I am really good about letting my daughters ... [snip!] ... theirs to."</blockquote> Right, but I personally don't think a child will benefit from 3 different parenting styles."

Neither do I, and her dad and I are great at co-parenting together right now. We don't need a third cook in the kitchen right now.