ghjhgjfghjdsgdgsdfgsdgdfgd

I would cut my losses. Like you said, kids need stability.

I think there is a difference between an uninvolved, dead-beat dad and a dad who travels a lot but still loves his child and wants to be involved when possible.

The child still needs to know the father. Regardless.
Unless the dad was some crack head or sumfin.

Quoting Chuck Bass:" I think there is a difference between an uninvolved, dead-beat dad and a dad who travels a lot but still loves his child and wants to be involved when possible."

Agreed.

Personally, I'm always in favor of the open door policy...he's the child's father, so he should always have the opportunity to be a part of the child's life. When they're young I don't think it matters so much...and odds are, things will settle down for him after a couple years and he'll be able to be around more consistently.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chuck Bass:</b>" I think there is a difference between an uninvolved, dead-beat dad and a dad who travels a lot but still loves his child and wants to be involved when possible."</blockquote>




You took the words from my mouth! I completely agree

I can't choose his level of involvement. If I choose to parent it doesn't somehow make him less of the dad. He is still the childs father. If he chooses to be in the kids life I would ask him to contribute to her financially. And set a good example and how he learns how to be a good dad. Its a learning process, guys and girls change a lot through children, but with guys it happens mostly after the baby is born. I don't get to veto what the other person chooses, i.e. what being a parent looks like to them. It sounds like he wants to make a better life for the kid. If I couldn't accept what co-parenting with him looked like... i would get an abortion.

fghjhjghjhgjgh

Its hard, parenting i growth to. My ex was a horrible parent for a long time, and with time he is an amazing parent now.

jhkhg khgjkhg mjhjfg

Quoting Timothy Hay:" Yes, I wanted to make sure I don't drift into the "well this is what you need to be doing" territory ... [snip!] ... about is no ones business in my opinion. Which is where the occasional drop ins, and updates if he asked for them came about."

I would also not discount the change that happens in guys after the baby is born. Because its easy to think it will be easy to go away and do this or do that. Smurf I thought showering would be easy >.< because its not going to hurt to cry a little... well we both know how that changed. With pregnancy we get to change with the help of hormones, and our body changing. Guys don't get that.

You are an intelligent compassionate person and mother. You will make the right decision. And be what your kids need no matter what he does. The best advice I have for you having been in this situation is to remember that things are going to change, in a good or bad way.

I think if he was willing to keep updated, help financially support, and then maybe even have skype sessions with the child, then an open door policy would be ok with me considering he was still actively trying to be a part of the child's life. if he just wanted to go off, not help support out even ask about the child then just drop in whenever he gelt like being a parent, then no.

hjhgjfjghjghjgh

Quoting Timothy Hay:" Yes, I need to try and remember that Since I have children I know how you change and adapt. I have to ... [snip!] ... will just give him his space to figure this out on his own, and not discount anything he may choose to do in the time to come."

Its really easy to look at today and get really freaked out. And all that does is make things harder for you. A lot of times its the protection we feel for our children that makes us freak and over analyze things lol.