Baby Mama Drama

Okay. A little BG: Been with my bf for 2 years. BM didn't want me around their kid and made him take their son 5 days/week for the first 10 months of our relationship so I almost never saw him. She threatened him that he wouldn't see their son if he bought their son around me. He got an attorney & now they have a parenting plan so that he doesn't have to go to her house, he picks their son up from daycare.
He has him every Wed,Thurs & every other Fri, Sat, & Sun and he stays at his dads. Every other week he only has him Wed & Thurs and stays with me and our 1 month old. In the parenting agreement it says they can call everyday that they don't have their son.

He didn't call for two days (he's not required to) and on Saturday his BM called and demanded to know why. She grilled him & afterwards put their son on the phone. I told him that she's using him calling to control him and he shouldn't call everyday he doesn't have him because she expects it and I think its more for her than for the kid.

Do you think that's wrong of me? I hate his BM because of how she acted the first year we were together. I think that his son knows he loves him, he shouldn't have to call everyday. I voiced this to him & he said he doesn't know, will work on it. What do you think? Thank you for reading this long post & posting your replies:-)

Who are you to say how often he should call?  

Thank you for posting! I am the girlfriend who stuck with him while his BM was the smurfiest of smurfs to him & had no respect for our relationship.

I had no problem with him calling before she called Saturday & DEMANDED to know where he was and why he hasn't called. I'm just not okay with her trying to control him with how many times he calls or not.

My sons dad and I are together, and live together. We still call daddy everyday on his lunch break cuz he misses him. I'm not sure how old this other kid is but my son is only one and brings me the phone "daddy" and when we aren't on the phone he plays with his toy phone and "talks to his dad". I think your selfish. Shouldn't be with a man who has a kid if you can't handle it. As a mother I wouldn't allow my son around the new girl for a long time. it would depend on how she and I interacted whether I ever would. I don't have to worry about that. But I totally understand her. And she is protecting her son.

When he has their son, she may call once or twice in 5 days but she thinks its okay to jump on him for not calling in 2 days and I think that's wrong.

Thank you also for posting!

I offered to get to know her because she said that was the only way I would get to know their son, but she declined because she "still loves" my boyfriend. I even invited their son and her and her daughter to my god-daughters bday party. But she declined. And then got arrested for trying to stab someone 

I've tried to be nice to her but she's just really bitter & mean.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Converse360:</b>" Thank you also for posting! I offered to get to know her because she said that was the only way I would ... [snip!] ... And then got arrested for trying to stab someone  I've tried to be nice to her but she's just really bitter & mean."</blockquote>



How old is his son?

I have been handling being with a guy that has a kid. It was ABSOLUTE Hell the first year we were together. I guess I'm having trouble being with a guy that has a bitchy BM. I'm not the kind of person who rewards bitchy behavior, never have been, but I've been more than accomodating to her & she's only been bitter & rude.

His son is 5 years old.
Today my bf went to the daycare & said hi to his son so he could pay for daycare and wouldn't have to call her phone because he's pissed about how she called him Saturday. I told him that's a good idea, he drives by the daycare everyday anyways.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Converse360:</b>" I have been handling being with a guy that has a kid. It was ABSOLUTE Hell the first year we were together. ... [snip!] ... who rewards bitchy behavior, never have been, but I've been more than accomodating to her & she's only been bitter & rude."</blockquote>




Calling another woman a bitch, doesn't make you less of one. Stop complaining about her and focus on your little family. You feel threatened by her. As she probably feels threatened by you. But it's none of your business. So let him handle it and shut up.

Well it might be just me by the looks of things but I see where you are coming from. She is way out of line for calling and demanding to know why he hasn't called. Its not mandatory to call and having a family some days you just get busy. Sounds like she isn't letting go and is using the kid to make that statement just to piss you off. I honestly don't think it was wrong of you. I agree, he shouldn't have to call every day.

Turning it around on me, I'd get stressed out of my DH rang every single day that it was my turn to have the kids because that is our time, we would have things planned. It's not like its weeks at a time. I could see that being a little different but it's only days.

If you're not the child's mother, then it's none of your business. It's his parents' business.

Quoting Live Love Laugh ♥:" Well it might be just me by the looks of things but I see where you are coming from. She is way out of ... [snip!] ... we would have things planned. It's not like its weeks at a time. I could see that being a little different but it's only days."

I agree with this.... I wouldn't go as far to tell him not to call his kid cause in the end that is his choice but I do think it's BS that she calls demanding he call. how does she know what he might have going on. You can't make him not call but she can't make him call either.

I have to disagree with some of the comments being made. While I fully understand a mother protecting her child, this obviously isn't what was happening. The BM seemed to think that keeping OP from seeing her son for 10 months would break them up and make it possible to get back with BD. One of those "If I can't have him I don't want her to either" situations. It's wrong and only hurts the child. I've seen far too many mothers keep their children from their fathers out of jealousy and an attempt to punish them. The BM could definitely have been much more polite about BD not calling as much as usual, especially if she doesn't call that often. Sounds like she needs a heavy dose of reality because from the sounds of it, OP isn't going anywhere.

Best of lick to ya OP!

Thanks to all of you for posting as well 

Lil mama bear- I don't think that calling someone a bitch makes me less of one. The fact that she was one for the majority of our relationship & that I still am accomodating to her and treat her son like he's my own when he's here makes her one.

Mama Van-I didn't make it my business until she called during our family time demanding stuff. I can understand what your saying, I never thought of it as my business until then either.

Live Love Laugh-That's how I feel. I just don't like her calling & demanding that he calls. This is the first & only time I've had s problem with it.

Just Emily-I don't think its right that he would not call at all. I would have serious doubts if he didnt call at all. I didn't grow up with a dad & I think its wonderful that he's such an attentive father. I told him that he didn't have to call everyday. Some days its good to stop by the daycare & just see his son himself so that she isn't expecting him to call just for her to talk to him. I think that's wrong.