re: .....................

Quoting Unique Mama:" If they are legally married then him smurfing anyone else is considered cheating, whether he considers them on a 'break' or not."

My parents are legally married, but sepearated, though they never filled out any paperwork or anything. Its been 5 years, they aren't cheating on each other, they are over.

Quoting Rawkel.:" OP, I don't know if the Army is the same, but do you still need to give temp custody to someone before you leave? Is it going to be BD?"

Since we are married I don't have to sign over custody

Quoting Rawkel.:" I really hope that whatever happens is for the best! Good luck, and you're about to start a new chapter ... [snip!] ... what it's like to go through training, those letters were what got me through the days. If you want to just let me know!"

Thank you that would be lovely!

Quoting D335 NUT$:" Thank you that would be lovely!"

To the first response- well that works out. But it sounds like it could get complicated once you're in the fleet and settled on a base somewhere if you two end up separating.. ugh I hope for LO's sake it all goes smoothly.

And yay! I'll make sure you get some good motivation and giggles to keep you going! Lol

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would never divorce over my husband needing space and "hanging out" with a woman one time. Now if he was cheating on me constantly and we had tried therapy and such then and only then would I consider divorce.

I feel like people get divorced too easily these days but at the same time I'm not about to judge anyone's relationship and understand divorces are plenty necessary in many situations. That could totally be the case with you for all I know.

However, if there's any inkling of hope with you two I really think you should try to salvage your marriage. It will also reflect well on both of your careers as military personnel.

With that being said, if your marriage is totally done for you need to know that you can survive as a single mom in the military. Many women do it. There are plenty of forms of support for single mothers. I am not familiar with them because I've never had to look at them but I know they're there and I also know that plenty of women get along just fine as single mothers in this kind of situation.

Good luck.

Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would never divorce over my husband needing space and "hanging out" with ... [snip!] ... there and I also know that plenty of women get along just fine as single mothers in this kind of situation. Good luck. "

He made out with the chick and says he "likes" her.
I asked him to go to counselling with me and he says he would just get pissed off.

and thank you  

Anyone who would stay with a husband who cheated on them a ton is...a very special lady.

I am sorry he did that D335, that is unforgivable  

Quoting Unique Mama:" Anyone who would stay with a husband who cheated on them a ton is...a very special lady. I am sorry he did that D335, that is unforgivable  "

thank ya

Quoting D335 NUT$:" He made out with the chick and says he "likes" her. I asked him to go to counselling with me and he says he would just get pissed off. and thank you   "

Yikes... I couldn't tell whether he had been physical with this woman based on your original post. Honestly, a marriage can survive infidelity but it sounds like neither of you really want to do that (and that's okay--what you really need to focus on is what makes you and your child happy and if that doesn't involve being with him then leave).

Besides, if he's not willing to put in the work to save your marriage then why should you?

Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Yikes... I couldn't tell whether he had been physical with this woman based on your original post. Honestly, ... [snip!] ... being with him then leave). Besides, if he's not willing to put in the work to save your marriage then why should you?"

I want to that's what hurts.
He says he loves me but doesn't want to be with me.. I just don't get men.

Problem is too many of them are lying, cheating pieces of crap  

Not so true now a days joining the military as a single parent.the military is cutting way down on people jointing and staying in.if u were to have joined the military and then had a kid yes they would make stuff work for u.they want people who can employ with in a hours notice hints why u would need a parenting plan in place.you would have to sign ur son over to someone but then u can turn around when training is over and get him back.you need to ask urs elf if u could be away from him for up to 12 months at a time.