I feel like smurf

My paternal grandmother called me yesterday and told me that my maternal grandmother was taken to the hospital. She has asthma, which she takes home breathing treatments for. She was in the middle of doing it when she just out of nowhere fell out of her chair to the floor! My aunt was there to call 911. Apparently her lung collapsed. I nearly fainted when she told me that when she got there and talked to the paramedics they said there was no heartbeat when they got there...

I talked to my grandmother again later that day and she said they had her on ventilators and were going to do scans and tests, but she went 15 minutes without oxygen to the brain and the doctors are saying it doesn't look good...

Not only does this hurt me because I lost my mother at 14 and she's all I've really had to be there in place of mother, but I feel absolutely terrible because the last time she saw my oldest DD was at easter and she's never even seen LO!
I had been wanting to go see her for awhile after LO was born, but she had been getting sick on and off a lot and wanted to wait until she felt better. I feel like I should've went to see her anyway. I'm so scared to get a call from someone telling me she's gone...I'll never forgive myself for not bringing the girls to see her when I had the chance...

man i know exactly how you feel. i went through the same thing with my grandma. i lost her last year to cancer and i feel i will always live with the guilt of not having her see my daughter as much as she could have. Morgan was 2 when she died so she didn't get a lot of time with her but she had been battling cancer for years and was pretty bad by the time Morgan was born. my grandma would always tell my mom for me to bring Morgan over but she was gradually losing weight and it was hard for me to see her like that so we didn't see her as often as i should have and i feel extremely selfish for that. im really sorry you're going through this im here, or hit up my tumblr if you need to talk<3

Quoting ॐ:" man i know exactly how you feel. i went through the same thing with my grandma. i lost her last year ... [snip!] ... extremely selfish for that. im really sorry you're going through this im here, or hit up my tumblr if you need to talk<3"

Thank you, that means a lot <3