Letting DS live with father

I'm a single mom to a 3 year old, have a good relationship with my ex. Son stays over at his place once a week and every other weekend, he lives 6 blocks away.

I'll be going back to college next year to be a surgical technician and I'll also be working part time to support myself and my son. Whatever I choose to study, I'll leave at 6 am and get back home after 8 pm.

My ex has told me he thinks it would be better if our son lived with him during the school year. Down here, school is divided in 2 terms of 4 months of duration each, with 4 months of holiday (1 month of winter holidays and 3 months of summer holidays from mid december to mid march).

I cried like a kid when he mentioned this, I cannot fathom the idea of not living with my son, it makes my heart ache. But rationally, it sort of makes sense... won't it be better for my son to be with his father instead of a nanny?

I feel like a horrible mom, a horrible, selfish mom. I can't <i>not</i> have a degree, Where I live, you need to have some sort of degree if you want to make more than minimum wage, I can barely support us as it is, and I won't be able to do it much longer unless I go to college.

Any advice?

I would, because as you said it's better than him being with a nanny.

But then again, I haven't been where you are, and I'd cry like a baby too.  

Good luck with whatever you do, that would be hard!

If it's just one year, what's the big deal?? It's not like you won't get to see him the entire time.

Thats really hard, I would be really upset too. What about if he lives with his dad during the week when you're at school, and in the weekends he lives with you?

If it will create a better living situation for you and LO in the duture I don't see why not. I wouldn't be able to do it. But if its for the greater good and you are serious about it, then yes I agree with husband. We are fortunate to live in a time when we have things like Skype to keep in touch.

You wont be in school 7 days a week so could you have your son on weekends/your days off? You are not being selfish.....you are doing this to better your life for you and your son!!!! Its prob better to have his dad take care of him than a nanny...way cheaper too!! Realistically, with you being gone from 6am-8pm you really wouldnt see him during the week....could you call him nightly to talk or drop by to see him before bed???

When I first started college, my son lived with my mom an hour away for a little bit. It was the hardest time of my life, but I would never had been able to go to school if we hadn't done this. It was super painful and difficult, but it was the right choice. It sounds like it may be a good option for you. I would just lay out clear guidelines and such before you guys agree to anything.

Quoting Mommy of 1.5 kids hehe:" You wont be in school 7 days a week so could you have your son on weekends/your days off? You are not ... [snip!] ... 6am-8pm you really wouldnt see him during the week....could you call him nightly to talk or drop by to see him before bed???"

I agree.. you can take him on your days off/weekends.. I know it must be so hard to actually do it but it might be better for him.

Yes, I'd be staying my DS once a week and every other weekend. This is just too hard, most of all I am scared of what my son is going to think. I would hate for him to think I'm abandoning him.

It's a 3 year program.

Explain it to him, tell him the importance of you going to school and that its better for him to be with his dad than a nanny! It will be tough, but its only 3 yrs and life will be so much better.

I dont see an issue with except the ONLY problem I would worry about.. is after the years up, BD trying to take you for that visitation schedule after you finish school. So him living more with your BD..

My daughter lived with my parents for a year while I was in school. It sucked, but was for the best, and it made our relationship stronger in the end.