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Quoting JiLLiAN.:" life is too hard.   i wish we could still be like our innocent children who never feel these things."

My problems started as an infant. I didn't smile until I was about 6 months old. They would probably have diagnosed me as autistic if I was born today. I was just afraid of everything. I was not a happy child at all. I pray to god my children do not inherit these issues.

Wallahwallahwoo.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mayhem ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~*Icat*~:</b>" yea. i have very dangerous suicidal ideation ... [snip!] ... about maybe going somewhere to get some help before it gets worse. My meds help fortunately but I ran out like a week ago"</blockquote>




I would get help before it gets worse.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Oh yeah, they keep the worst at bay. Before I was ... [snip!] ... than immediate family. I don't go anywhere but to therapy appointments. I don't drive. I'm proud of you for being a teacher!"

Thank you. I'm very proud of myself, thinking back to who I was. Couldn't even sit on my front porch.

Do you think you not going anywhere is because of lack of desire stemming from depression? Or is it fear stemming from anxiety?

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Thank you. I'm very proud of myself, thinking back to who I was. Couldn't even sit on my front porch. ... [snip!] ... you think you not going anywhere is because of lack of desire stemming from depression? Or is it fear stemming from anxiety? "</blockquote>




You're welcome! That is great you've come so far

I get panic attacks just thinking about going anywhere. I can't drive either I always think I'm going to get into a wreck.

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<blockquote><b>Quoting HopingforaMiracle:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Thank you. I'm very proud of myself, thinking back ... [snip!] ... far I get panic attacks just thinking about going anywhere. I can't drive either I always think I'm going to get into a wreck."</blockquote>


Yeah I have horrible anxiety with driving. I still don't have a license.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Thank you. I'm very proud of myself, thinking back to who I was. Couldn't even sit on my front porch. ... [snip!] ... you think you not going anywhere is because of lack of desire stemming from depression? Or is it fear stemming from anxiety? "</blockquote>



That's an awesome accomplishment!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mayhem ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting HopingforaMiracle:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mayhem ... [snip!] ... think I would ever do it. If/when I get help it'll be moreso just to improve my quality of life and be able to just be happy"</blockquote>




I understand. Unfortunately I'm only in counseling right now. I've thought so many times about going back to the hospital. But then I would miss more of her life. Which I've alread missed half of her life being in the hospital.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Thank you. I'm very proud of myself, thinking back ... [snip!] ... far I get panic attacks just thinking about going anywhere. I can't drive either I always think I'm going to get into a wreck."

Anxiety. I know how you feel. It is literally a handicap. Are you on meds for it? I take Ativan.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mayhem ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting HopingforaMiracle:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" ... [snip!] ... I'm going to get into a wreck."</blockquote> Yeah I have horrible anxiety with driving. I still don't have a license."</blockquote>




I have a license but don't use it unless I'm going to my therapy appointments because I have to do it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Anxiety. I know how you feel. It is literally a handicap. Are you on meds for it? I take Ativan. "</blockquote>




Yeah it sucks. I'm on Lexapro, Buspar and Ativan. On a scheduled basis. I also take Vistaril PRN. I don't know how it could have gotten so bad when I've only been dealing with it since my pregnancy.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Anxiety. I know how you feel. It is literally a ... [snip!] ... I also take Vistaril PRN. I don't know how it could have gotten so bad when I've only been dealing with it since my pregnancy."

I was on Cymbalta and Buspar.


Celexa and Effexor both made me feel worse.

<blockquote><b>Quoting JiLLiAN.:</b>" I was on Cymbalta and Buspar. Celexa and Effexor both made me feel worse."</blockquote>




I'm sorry they made you feel worse. I'm on a slew of medications for other conditions that aren't for anxiety

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Anxiety. I know how you feel. It is literally a ... [snip!] ... I also take Vistaril PRN. I don't know how it could have gotten so bad when I've only been dealing with it since my pregnancy."

It's just a chemical imbalance in your brain. Anxiety is caused by too much dopamine. Eight years ago, when I started taking Zoloft, my doctor at the time told me SSRI's help regulate those levels. I definitely can see that that much has happened. As far as the depression goes though, not sure if it's helped much.