He wants another baby....

What would you do if your partner wanted a baby but you didn't??

I'm 21, He's 22, next April/May we are buying a house and together we bring in $2000 a week so financially we are able to have another child(I already have a 3yr old to someone else).

But I had such a horrible time with my daughter as a baby, I was single, broke, in debt and I was depressed to the max. I hated being a stay at home parent, and as soon as I started working I was happy, but still not as happy as I am now, working full time, living with my partner, having the freedom to do whatever we want money-wise and the freedom to go out every 2nd weekend while my daughter is at her dads... And as selfish as it is, I don't want to lose that.

We have discussed having another child and I've agreed to consider it in about 2.5-3yrs but I'm just really unsure. I don't want him to never experience having a child but I'm seriously happy with one and terrified of going through baby-stages again. I despise babies, I love my own of course, but I just hate the baby stage. I much prefer preschool age and up...


Also... I have Endometriosis, so if we were to have another child it would involve fertility treatments and possibly not being able to fall pregnant myself at all....

I would tell him that you're not ready right now to TTC. Do you not want any more at all?


Gah I am 21 and broke as a joke. Jealous.

I just had a baby 5 months ago, and SO thinks we should start trying for another one, like, yesterday   Just because him and his brother were 13 months apart, he thinks that LO should have a sibling so close together in age...I'm like...Nnnoooooo thank you. I don't even want to think about trying until LO is at least 4 years old. I want the time to enjoy him. I know I'll find it too difficult to divide my attention between him and a new baby. I'd rather have another one and have the time to focus more attention on the new one while he's in school, or something.

you might not like my answer but you are both so young that I think you should just give it time. If you no that you will never ever want another then tell him and don't be with him. You know it is not fair if he wants kids and you don't

But in this past year I would say 9 out of 12 of my friends all had our 1st baby, I am one of them  We are all in our mid 30's. So I am not saying you should waite 15 more years like I did but I know a lot of that group of friends of mine all did not want kids back in our 20s and I was one of them.

So I think that you have a lot of time and no need to rush this decesion. But if he wants you to rush and you don't then... tell him the truth about how you feel and let him move on if he needs a baby in the next year

Good luck! I am sorry you have to deal with endometriois!

How long have you guys been together? I think make sure YOU are 100% ready to TTC. You are the one who would have to undergo the fertility treatments and carry the pregnancy and give birth. Make sure it's something you really want first, not something your heart is half into.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Turtles*:</b>" I would tell him that you're not ready right now to TTC. Do you not want any more at all? Gah I am 21 and broke as a joke. Jealous."</blockquote>




I honestly don't know... I'm content at 1, I'm not against having more but I definitely don't want one right now and I just keep thinking that if we don't have the baby he wants in the next couple years it's gonna hold us back more later.... Because I'll have an older child and a baby and be limited in the things we cando and the places we can go all over again :-/

Quoting Ms.Eagles:" I just had a baby 5 months ago, and SO thinks we should start trying for another one, like, yesterday ... [snip!] ... baby. I'd rather have another one and have the time to focus more attention on the new one while he's in school, or something."

I will want to try when LO is at least 4 years old as well. I want to give my body a break and to enjoy my LO as an only child for a while.

Quoting Manda♥Bella:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Turtles*:</b>" I would tell him that you're not ready right ... [snip!] ... Because I'll have an older child and a baby and be limited in the things we cando and the places we can go all over again :-/"

Would you consider TTC in 2 years? Give him a time frame and see what he says. I don't blame you for how you're feeling except my SO and I are on the same page when it comes to TTC later on down the road.

I would sit down and discuss your worries and fears with him, i know you said you had a hard time with your dd but your situation was different then and i'm sure you'd have the support this time around with your so BUT that being said, it's your body and you who has to deal with possibly undergoing fertility treatment and the fact it might not work for you which would bring stressful times i'm sure, i hope you can sort things out and if you don't want another baby that is your choice and you're still young, you might feel differently in a few years, take it easy mama x

<blockquote><b>Quoting A&J. ♥:</b>" How long have you guys been together? I think make sure YOU are 100% ready to TTC. You are the one who ... [snip!] ... and carry the pregnancy and give birth. Make sure it's something you really want first, not something your heart is half into."</blockquote>




That's my other issue... The pregnancy.

I had a horrible one of those, I vomited 6-7 times a day from the day 1 to the day I had her! I couldn't continue working with that and I love my job  

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Turtles*:</b>" Would you consider TTC in 2 years? Give him a time frame and see what he says. I don't blame you for ... [snip!] ... I don't blame you for how you're feeling except my SO and I are on the same page when it comes to TTC later on down the road."</blockquote>




I've told him we can discuss it again after my daughters 5th birthday (July 2014) that would put her in full time schooling (she'll start at 5.5) before I'm far along in the pregnancy, if we did decide to go ahead with it.

He's happy to wait a few years, but he doesn't want more then 6/7yrs difference between my daughter and the new child, he would prefer a lot less difference between them..

You're both very, very young. You still have PLENTY of time to have more children. If it isn't a mutual decision to have a child together, don't do it. You'll likely change your mind about not having another in a few years, anyhow.

if you make 8000.00 a month, then just have another kid.








how the heck do you make 8000.00 a month?

Quoting Manda♥Bella:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Turtles*:</b>" Would you consider TTC in 2 years? Give him ... [snip!] ... want more then 6/7yrs difference between my daughter and the new child, he would prefer a lot less difference between them.."

I think that's reasonable.

Quoting Devil Duckie:" if you make 8000.00 a month, then just have another kid. how the heck do you make 8000.00 a month? "