I'm sorry. This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous rant. I've tired, I've REALLY tried not to whine on BG lately, but I'm such a mess right now. I can't stop crying, I just want to hold my face in a pillow and smurfing sob.
I feel like I'll be alone forever.
I hate looking in the mirror. My face is disgusting. My body is disgusting. Everything about me is just completely awful. I have progressive decay, so I look like a smurfing meth head the way my teeth are.
My health is smurf, my personality is smurf, everything about me is just complete and utter smurf.
I just want to have someone there, anyone, even a friend, just to have them be here right now so I wasn't alone.
But I've officially chased off everyone that matters to me.
I have felt lonely, and detattched, but this is something brand new.
I feel like I'm completely smurfing empty and I'll never feel a part of something bigger than myself again.
I just really don't want to be alone anymore..I'm so tired of being alone.