I told her that her dad lied to her...

My nearly 6y/o daughter spends the weekends at her dads with him and his new girlfriend (I actually don't mind his new g/f, she's not a bad influence like his last few). Yesterday I sent him a text asking if it would be ok for me to take our daughter to the Remembrance day Ceremony and then bring her back to him and pick her up Monday afternoon since she doesn't have school tomorrow. He said 'no, we have other plans for her'. I said 'Fine. Have her ready by 3:15 on Sunday then.' This is her usual time to be picked up, anyways and I was in no mood to be nice.

I asked my daughter what the big plans were that they had done and she started crying and said that they were supposed to have gone to the parade but "daddy said they cancelled it because it was cold and raining so we didn't get to go and say Thank You"

I told her that we went and it certainly wasn't cancelled and I was sorry that her daddy thought it was too cold to go but that they would NEVER cancel the ceremony just because it was cold or raining or snowing.

Did they cancel it though?

I don't see how you lied to her, if not.

I'm sorry, but you should've just let it be and not told her that her dad lied to her. Making the other parent out to be a bad guy is pretty low. A kid will figure things out for themselves eventually.

ETA: Especially since she was visibly upset already, it should've just been an I'm sorry you didn't get to go.

Quoting K[♥ E&C]:" I'm sorry, but you should've just let it be and not told her that he dad lied to her. Making the other parent out to be a bad guy is pretty low. A kid will figure things out for themselves eventually."

     

I understand you being upset that he lied to her about it but at the same time I don't know if I could tell my child their other parent lied to them about something like that. I wouldn't want to upset the child any more than they already are.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bia.:</b>" Did they cancel it though? I don't see how you lied to her, if not."</blockquote>




Shr told LO that the dad lied. OP, that was kind.of.smurffy

Why would you do that? That's terrible.

I can understand getting your emotions over the situation in the way, but yes, I also wouldn't have told her that he lied to her.

Quoting K[♥ E&C]:" I'm sorry, but you should've just let it be and not told her that he dad lied to her. Making the other parent out to be a bad guy is pretty low. A kid will figure things out for themselves eventually."

 

I grew up in a household where my mom was constantly belittling my dad and making him out to be this terrible person. Finally, I realized the truth. My mom and I barely have a relationship, 20 years later.

My dad and I? Couldn't be closer.

It wasn't right of him to say it was cancelled, but maybe something came up that they weren't able to go and instead of disappointing your littler girl, he came up with the excuse it was cancelled.

She said that the parade wasn't cancelled. Was she supposed to lie too?  

<blockquote><b>Quoting K[♥ E&C]:</b>" I'm sorry, but you should've just let it be and not told her that her dad lied to her. Making the other ... [snip!] ... lied to her. Making the other parent out to be a bad guy is pretty low. A kid will figure things out for themselves eventually."</blockquote>




I agree

I would have never told her that. It's mean. Maybe he didn't want her in the cold rain. It's understandable. That was rude of you.

Quoting K[♥ E&C]:" I'm sorry, but you should've just let it be and not told her that her dad lied to her. Making the other ... [snip!] ... eventually. ETA: Especially since she was visibly upset already, it should've just been an I'm sorry you didn't get to go."

 

What a horrible thing to do. OP that WAS kind of smurffy of you... Don't do that again.

Quoting aℓyssa™:"   I grew up in a household where my mom was constantly belittling my dad and making him out to be ... [snip!] ... up that they weren't able to go and instead of disappointing your littler girl, he came up with the excuse it was cancelled. "

Same situation with me. My mom always had bad things to say about my dad, and I was NOT close to him until I was an adult. Once I was old enough to realize it all, I resented her for it. We are still close and I love her, but I'm much closer to him.

OP I understand you were mad at him, but take it up with him. Don't take it out on her.

Aw, I could never do that to my child. Why would you tell her that her dad lied to her? You should have just let it be and if you had a problem with him not taking her and lying to her then take it up with him.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" She said that the parade wasn't cancelled. Was she supposed to lie too?   "

She didn't have to say anything regarding the parade. She could have just hugged her, apologized, & said something like "ohh well I'm sure next time you go to daddys he'll have something really fun planned"... or something like that.