Quoting Michael Westen:" I'll have to watch it!! Lol Our relationship wasn't the whole dominant/submissive thing like most ... [snip!] ... anyones submissive and I don't think I could be anyones dominant on a permanent basis. maybe during sex but that would be it."

I think I could be a sub sexually. Not all the time though, although I enjoy cooking, and being house wifey, etc.

Im in a BDSM relationship and its not abuse in the slightest ... There is a level of intimacy and trust in a true BDSM relationship that can't be acheived in any other way

BDSM is not abuse if there's 2 consenting adults.

Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" Im in a BDSM relationship and its not abuse in the slightest ... There is a level of intimacy and trust in a true BDSM relationship that can't be acheived in any other way"

  
I'm closer to my boyfriend than I've ever been with anyone. We have our ups and downs, but I love him more intensely than I've ever loved in other relationships.

Quoting Derpy the Duck:" But in a true BDSM relationship the sub or bottom holds all the power. Not the Dom/Domme or Top. That's the difference. "

I'm glad I read through before responding because I would've repeated exactly what you said here.


A lot of people think we submissives have no control over our lives, but in reality our Dom/Domme, Tops, or Master/Mistresses would lose everything with one word from us. We give them control willingly and in return, they respect our limits and take care of us. It's incredible when it's safe, sane, and consensual.

Quoting Derpy the Duck:" OP, have you ever heard of the site Fetlife? Awesome awesome people on that site who live all different ... [snip!] ... There's an amazing amount to learn there too. I'll warn you though, lots of nudity. Might help with your paper though.   "

Most people on fetlife have disclaimers that you MAY NOT use things on their profile for any sort of research. Make sure you're not doing that, OP. As for BDSM, in general it's not abusive but it can turn into abuse if someone gets power hungry. My husband took it too far so we had to back out completely. I would be happy to talk to you about it in a PM.

if you want some info for research paper then check out fetlife. there are alot of forums you could read

Quoting Jude the Super Kinkster:" Most people on fetlife have disclaimers that you MAY NOT use things on their profile for any sort of ... [snip!] ... power hungry. My husband took it too far so we had to back out completely. I would be happy to talk to you about it in a PM."

I was more meaning to point her towards the various groups and public writing people do. There's also a lot of great people she can talk to too, I've been a member of the site for a couple years now.  

Quoting Michael Westen:" It's not abuse. Just because 50 shades of grey makes it seem that way. It's a lifestyle which both parties choose."

Eh, I don't think it was abuse in the book either...she knew what it was and agreed...lol
Controlling? Yeah, but he had some issues...

Quoting the grace life:" I become more and more glad with each passing day that I never picked that book up! "

I personally liked the books, a lot.
It's all a matter of taste.

Quoting Michael Westen:" I read like 2 chapters of the first one and gave up."

They get better like most series. I promise...lol
After I read the first two I was like, eh...but I paid for it, may as well read it. Then I had to see what happened next.

But as for the OP, not abuse if there's two consenting adults.