Is it bad if I didn't know what BDSM stood for until I opened this?  

The creed of BDSM is safe, sane, consensual. Abuse is anything but that. It's definitely not abuse.

Lol, I wasn't just saying that based on the books. But if it is a job...and not a hobby that someone does, most require a contract. We just recently went over this type of thing in law class, the topic was..."what if said women ends up killing said man, but has not broken any of the rules in the contract he signs, is this 1st degree murder" It was interesting to say the least. I am a Law student and graduate in May...a few days after I walk, baby is due! =)

Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:"   It romanticizes abuse. "

I become more and more glad with each passing day that I never picked that book up!

Quoting Baby Love.:" I read a paper on it that analyzed the fact that many people who were abused for long periods of time ... [snip!] ... need to talk about more. It's in depth psychological analyst viewpoints though. Some people who like BDSM like it out of abuse."

I read a study that said it's almost equal. It said people in the lifestyle are just as likely to have been abused as any other people

Quoting Squeaky McGee:" Is it bad if I didn't know what BDSM stood for until I opened this?  "

I didn't either. I even read it out to DH to asked him if he knew that. 

Quoting Squeaky McGee:" Is it bad if I didn't know what BDSM stood for until I opened this?  "

Not at all.

Quoting the grace life:" I didn't either. I even read it out to DH to asked him if he knew that.  "

I knew it was something kinky, lol.

I'd really like to hear from the person that said it was abuse. I'd like to know why they feel that way.

<blockquote><b>Quoting the grace life:</b>" I become more and more glad with each passing day that I never picked that book up! "</blockquote>



same here.

OP, have you ever heard of the site Fetlife? Awesome awesome people on that site who live all different degrees of the lifestyle. There's an amazing amount to learn there too. I'll warn you though, lots of nudity. Might help with your paper though.  

Okay I get where the abuse idea comes from... when it's a lifestyle that can certainly blur lines. Not just like a fun bedroom thing but a all day, every day, I-have-to-piss-myself-in-walmart-because-my-master-said-so thing --- I can see the argument there. I would say if the arrangement is entered into willingly, no, but then again, with enough headgames, you can get swept up in anything (like to the point of not enjoying it, just not knowing how to get out of it) if you have an inclination to enjoy being mistreated.

Quoting Derpy the Duck:" OP, have you ever heard of the site Fetlife? Awesome awesome people on that site who live all different ... [snip!] ... There's an amazing amount to learn there too. I'll warn you though, lots of nudity. Might help with your paper though.   "

I hadn't. Thank you!

I have been in a BDSM relationship before. I liked it more than this soft relationship i'm in now...

<blockquote><b>Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:</b>" I read a study that said it's almost equal. It said people in the lifestyle are just as likely to have been abused as any other people"</blockquote>



I guess like most any other study, it can be biased either way. ;) I don't think it's abuse, but know that some people like it because of abuse.



Then again, I hate all sex 99% of the time because of my abuse. Lol. It can go either way.