Forums > Debate & DiscussPage 1 2by: harlow k

re: Cheaters..... long

posted 11th Nov
Quoting harlow k:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" This is D&D, we wanna hear why!"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... why!"</blockquote> I'm don't know d&d mean I'm know babygaga ,language Please can you tell me what it mean thank."

Debate& Discuss, it's the thread you clicked on to get to this post....
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I have 1 child & live in Ontario
posted 11th Nov
Describes my ex-husband completely. That's what he told all of them, I never had sex with him (lie), I never cooked/cleaned (lie), that he took care of DD because I wouldn't (LIE), that he only stayed for DD (I doubt it, but regardless, I left him and now she's with me), blahblahblah. I love this, I might put it on FB.
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I have 3 kids & live in North Carolina
posted 11th Nov
Quoting Snotface♫[usmc]:" I think that's amazing. "
   
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I have 2 kids & 2 angel babies & live in California
posted 11th Nov
I guess there are two of us that didn't like it. You wouldn't understand unless you have been in that loveless marriage and only staying because it's what you know and you worry about what would happen with your LO.
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I have 1 child & live in Fort Sill, Oklahoma
posted 11th Nov
Quoting harlow k:" Do you believe that true a lot of relationship? It's getting to the point where I can't even read ... [snip!] ... to be such a spineless bastard in the first place. Congratulations, you've just joined the Adulterers Club. See you in hell."

Disagree with it. I don't agree with blanket statements ever...

I cheated and this is not me at all.
It sounds like someone is angry. There are many reasons why people cheat.
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I'm TTC since January '13, have 5 kids & live in Indiana
posted 11th Nov
Quoting khigh:" I guess there are two of us that didn't like it. You wouldn't understand unless you have been in that ... [snip!] ... been in that loveless marriage and only staying because it's what you know and you worry about what would happen with your LO."



Yep.

I cheated because I was lonely. I felt neglected in my marriage and I was being abused. My husband was NOT having sex with me on a regular basis. Someone just happened to come along at the wrong (right?...idk) time. He made me feel beautiful and wanted. He made me feel like a woman again. The problem was is that I still loved my husband. I smurfed up but at the same time, it saved our marriage. I was honest with him and he realized that I could be with someone and if he didn't shape up--I would leave his ass.
quotesmurfs?
I'm TTC since January '13, have 5 kids & live in Indiana
posted 11th Nov
Ok well there is 3 of us who do not agree. I use to be one of those who when I found out someone was a "cheater" they were scum etc etc etc. Then I opened my eyes. My ex husband cheatd on me. I was not mad. We were in a loveless marriage. I did not blame him one bit. I wouldn't have sex with him, I didn't want to touch him. We have a child together. I don't feel he did any worng to her. He is a great father. That is all that should matter. Majority of the time when someone cheats, they are feeling unloved, belittled, unappreciated, mental/emotional abuse. Someone comes along and they give you everything that has as been absent in the marriage. It can go both ways. I know more women who have cheated then men. Society has made it that cheaters are the worse of the worse., It's actually horrible, seems murders get less back;ash then cheaters. If someone cheats on you then, you either forgive and work it out. or grow the hell up and move on. I am not saying it is easy, but its not the end of the world. There is always going to be someone out there who will treat you like you want to be treated.
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I have 4 kids & 2 angel babies & live in California
posted 11th Nov
Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:" Ok well there is 3 of us who do not agree. I use to be one of those who when I found out someone was ... [snip!] ... but its not the end of the world. There is always going to be someone out there who will treat you like you want to be treated."


" Majority of the time when someone cheats, they are feeling unloved, belittled, unappreciated, mental/emotional abuse. Someone comes along and they give you everything that has as been absent in the marriage. It can go both ways."

This exactly.
It's not something that someone can judge without having been there and knowing what goes on in the "cheater's" mind.
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I'm TTC since January '13, have 5 kids & live in Indiana
posted 11th Nov
Quoting ~Ice Princess~:" " Majority of the time when someone cheats, they are feeling unloved, belittled, unappreciated, mental/emotional ... [snip!] ... exactly. It's not something that someone can judge without having been there and knowing what goes on in the "cheater's" mind. "
I dont knock cheaters at all. We all can put up a front to our friends that our marriages are perfect when in reality we are so miserable. My husbands ex-wife treated him like he was nothing for 16 years. The whole family even said it. Hell even HER lawyer told his lawyer during the divorce " How did that man deal with her for 16 years" his exact words. When you are demascuinlized(spelling) for so long you will find someone else. Same when a women is mentally and emotionally abused for so long they will find a man who treats her right. Thats why when I read the post on here about oh he cheated what a bastard blah blah blah..I dont judge him. What makes me think she is perfect in the relationship. I am glad you guys worked everything out.
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I have 4 kids & 2 angel babies & live in California
posted 11th Nov
<blockquote><b>Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:</b>" I dont knock cheaters at all. We all can put up a front to our friends that our marriages are perfect ... [snip!] ... blah blah..I dont judge him. What makes me think she is perfect in the relationship. I am glad you guys worked everything out."</blockquote>




Yea it's been rough. But our relationship I'd much better, not perfect, but better.
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I'm TTC since January '13, have 5 kids & live in Indiana
posted 11th Nov
The point still stands in my opinion. You're not going to fix your marriage by going outside of it. If there's an issue you fix it, or you get out. And no one on BG knows what anyone else has been through.
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I have 3 kids & live in Memphis, Tennessee
posted 11th Nov
<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Ice Princess~:</b>" Yep. I cheated because I was lonely. I felt neglected in my marriage and I was being abused. My husband ... [snip!] ... marriage. I was honest with him and he realized that I could be with someone and if he didn't shape up--I would leave his ass. "</blockquote>

This was my experience as well. I regret what I did, but I was in an extremely verbally abusive marriage. The abuse became worse after I told him about the affair. We couldn't make it work, things turned violent and I realized how much better I wanted. I don't believe in black and white in these situations
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I have 1 child & live in Washington
posted 12th Nov
Thank ladies putting in your answer
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