I just don't know what to do anymore.......

Is it ever ok to expect your spouse, SO or partner to clean up behind you such as: empty pop cans, cigarette butts and ashes, dirty dishes and clothes off the floor just because you work a few more hours a week then they do?

This is my SO's philosophy. I don't know where he get's off thinking this is ok but I work hard every week too and I spend more time with the kids then he does. I also pay all the bills with my pay checks while he squanders it all on who knows what. I have been feeling really stressed out lately. I spend a lot of time cleaning and it's trashed again before the night is over. It's utterly disgusting and I don't like living like this. I am not a SAHM, I work too so I expect him to help out.

Perhaps he gets this idea because he grew up an only child and his mother did everything for him. IDK  

No, I don't expect it...

He doesn't expect it, but I do those things for him. I'm a SAHM though.

I'm a SAHM and I still don't do that for him. He's a grown man, he can clean up after himself. Hell, my 3 year old cleans up after himself.

Hell no. And I would never. Grown adults should pick up after themselves. What a turn off. Even when I was a sahm I would have never let my SO be a slob and pick up after him. That's rude of him to expect that from you.

No, regardless of who works more, you're both making the messes and it's an equal partnership in cleaning them up. Period.

Everyone should clean up after themselves. I make toddlers throw their trash away and put cups in the sink. Im sure a grown man can handle that.

Quoting Keyboard Warrior.:" I'm a SAHM and I still don't do that for him. He's a grown man, he can clean up after himself. Hell, my 3 year old cleans up after himself."

I teach my children to clean up behind themselves. I definitely don't want them to take after their dad. It frustrates me so much, he use to clean behind himself better when I was a SAHM.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Hell no. And I would never. Grown adults should pick up after themselves. What a turn off. Even when ... [snip!] ... when I was a sahm I would have never let my SO be a slob and pick up after him. That's rude of him to expect that from you."

It is. I told him it was wrong of him to expect that of me but it just made him more angry towards me. It saddens me so much, I am not his mother and he isn't a child.

my husband is supposed to pick up after himself and he mostly does but im at home and he's in a super intense Navy school so when he slacks i try not to complain. he needs the break. for me, as long as he isn't blatently just not throwing things away or putting things back where he found them im ok with him being a little messy. i clean less often than i used to because it bothered me more when i cleaned more. the only time i complain is if its something nasty like crusty chocolate milk in the bottom of a glass.

Dh leaves dip cups (spit) everywhere, leaves his clothes scaTtered everywhere soda/beer cans until recently. I went on a short strike. He then cleaned up his smurf

Quoting That Girl.:" Dh leaves dip cups (spit) everywhere, leaves his clothes scaTtered everywhere soda/beer cans until recently. I went on a short strike. He then cleaned up his smurf"

Ewww that's nasty lol. I've tried the strike thing, I went a week but more crap just piled onto his other crap. Didn't phase him.

going out of town is a good way to show him how much you do for him! then you arent there to eventually break down and do it.

Quoting windowlickerseverywhere:" going out of town is a good way to show him how much you do for him! then you arent there to eventually break down and do it."

lol I'd have to wait till August for my ladies weekend camping trip.

I'd be tempted to quit my job and be a sahm if he expected me to clean up after him and not contribute financially