Not sure if it's just hormones...(VENT)

I'm afraid I really feel this way. My boyfriend/SO whatever you all call them, I haven't got on to the lingo yet. But he has a three year old. He get's him maybe 2, sometimes 3 times a week. And he's a great father. And that's not even bias. He really is. She uses their son against him, saying she's going to take him full time one our baby comes in February because the "new" family isn't good for him. I really don't like her, but she wont go to court with my boyfriend because she knows the living situation and money is 100% better than hers. I mean at her house he sleeps in her room behind a lizard cage. And she trains him to tell my boyfriend "I don't love you Daddy." "I don't wants you." etc., etc.,
When he spends a day with us the next day he's a perfect angel but the first day he acts so terrible and it breaks my heart. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and I don't know if it's the situation or my hormones but I feel terrible because I just don't want them around anymore. She threatens him, and uses me against him, and my baby. Like we're doing something wrong... Idk this may just be a vent. But I feel terrible because he lets her walk all over him, threatening to take his son, and only letting him have him 2 days a week. Saying he doesn't need anymore time with his 3 year old. But now since she has something to do, she's dumping him on us tonight instead of Monday, and making SO Feel like he's so special to get an extra day with his son. She say's my baby is the reason he's turning into a bad kid... could that be true? I feel like I came into my boyfriends like and now it's being ruined because of me and baby... When she say's that stuff he acts different towards me, and doesn't acknowledge baby for a few days until it blows over... It makes me really sad. Is our baby really the reason his first son is so horrible to everyone now... I thought it was just because he was three.

Why doesn't he just take her to court for joint custody.. that way she doesn't have a choice in going to court with him and then his days with his son will be set with the court.

If she's telling that little boy to say those things that's abuse but the little boy will grow up to see that and end up hating her but its all about control I would see about taking him on full time it would really be more positive of environment for the boy if this is the case

Quoting Chelsea.J:" I'm afraid I really feel this way. My boyfriend/SO whatever you all call them, I haven't got on to the ... [snip!] ... sad. Is our baby really the reason his first son is so horrible to everyone now... I thought it was just because he was three."

sounds to me the mother is the reason for the 3 yr old to act like that..i mean hes 3 and she is telling him not to love his dad...wth! thats so wrong. i think the women is just a bitch. did she do this before you got pregnant? she sounds jealous to me. your boyfriend is the dad and can take her to court....especially of hes living situation is better then hers. its not fair for anyone to blame you

He needs to take her to court, and get his days set by them. She wont have a choice. The way it sounds, she is poisoning her sons mind about you and the baby, i don't think it has anything to do with him acting out on his own. And for your SO to not acknowledge his baby because she's saying crap is a VERY smurffy thing to do.

Trust I tell him that all the time. But a lot of the times I stop short because when it comes down to it it's not technically my business. That's why it's posted as a vent. but it does tend to stress me out when he acts differently. Or his kid gets ridiculous. Or she starts calling all hours of the nights to scream at him.

It may be a money thing. Or he doesn't want to have to. I told him that I was getting tired of the fighting, and tired of someone using my baby against you already, and she's not even born yet.

Also the three year old, loves to ask me about her all the time, and rubs my belly. His mothers family say's she jealous. And I know her boyfriend buys her pets instead of giving her another child. (Fact) But that's not our problem. I feel her control issues are just getting to me because I'm pregnant generally girls like her I just brush off. But it's way too close to home.

Anyone know the process of taking an ex partner to court for shared custody? How hard it was, the money involved and what it may or may not have put the kid through?

<blockquote><b>Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:</b>" Why doesn't he just take her to court for joint custody.. that way she doesn't have a choice in going to court with him and then his days with his son will be set with the court."</blockquote>

This! Do this ASAP.

Also, what a smurffy situation. I'm sorry you have to deal with that

You're SO also needs to quit ignoring your LO just because she throws a hissy fit.

Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:" Why doesn't he just take her to court for joint custody.. that way she doesn't have a choice in going to court with him and then his days with his son will be set with the court."

This seriously! Why is he holding out? I would be hurt that he is taking her so seriously. Seriously enough that he is letting it affect how he feels towards HIS unborn child. The baby you are growing is just as much his. He should keep a record of everything she says, how often she tries to use the kid as leverage, and how often she prevents him from seeing the kid AS WELL AS how often she just drops him without warning like tonight.

Your SO needs to take her to court! She doesn't have a choice if he takes her.

The jealous thing gets on my nerves it's not even his fault they aren't together anymore, after agreeing when things went bad, to try and make things work, the same night he caught her in their bathroom connected to their bedroom, in the shower with another man (Her current BF) btw her kids 3, and she's been with this guy 3 years... If that explains anything. He's afraid I think of some twist coming in, and losing his son all together. Or having to put him through that at all. We used to get Sunday night, Monday, and Tuesday. And then she wanted to take Tuesday night away, BUT we had to get him from school feed and bathe him so her BF could come pick him up at bed time. It's all about control. Now she's being super nice because there's "Car shows" this weekend and doesn't want to have to deal with him, OMGOSH don't get me started on dropping him off whenever he's sick. OR the other way around and using him being sick as a reason why My BF can't have him for 10 days!


How hard would it be for my BF to take her to court and do this for good. It really is bothering me. She thinks I want to take her kid away from her, and replace her.. Even though that's what she's trying to do to my BF. Honestly I'm just tired of this drama.

What a bitch. It's not ur man's or u. It's the witches fault. Imagine how confused u would be if ur mum tells u to hate ur dad. Once the baby comes he won't have time for u. When the wee dude if with his dad show showers he with love n does everything that he should do.
U need to take her ass court get it in black n white. U don't need her to file u can do it without her.

He NEEDS to take her ass to court...!!!
Definitely not just your hormones.

That's what everyone is saying. He's not afraid of child support, he pays a 100 a week for his school as she requested. If he went to court would have to pay her less... Maybe thats why she doesn't follow through. She post stuff on FB all the time "I wish it were easier for me to get full custody" And then her friend rally around her... Like they know...
Anyone have any other ideas why he's so against taking her to court...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" That's what everyone is saying. He's not afraid of child support, he pays a 100 a week for his school ... [snip!] ... then her friend rally around her... Like they know... Anyone have any other ideas why he's so against taking her to court..."</blockquote>




He's an idiot? Idk. If I was him I would be taking her ass to court!

Quoting J+K=Bri+?  :" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" That's what everyone is saying. He's not afraid ... [snip!] ... so against taking her to court..."</blockquote> He's an idiot? Idk. If I was him I would be taking her ass to court!"

I like this theory...
It's going to come down to an argument between us soon, and I didn't want that to happen, especially pregnant but honestly they're not together and in my opinion if they went to court there wouldn't be need for contact with each other. I'm just tired of it.