Hey all! Sorry it took so long. I had this ALL typed up on Wednesday and ready to go, but somehow forgot to actually it the "post topic" button. Pregnancy brain? Well, that's what I'm blaming it on! Anyway, so here's the post I MEANT to post Wednesday.
I woke up this morning and decided to give the doppler another try. I'd scared myself last week and wound up driving 45 mins down to my doc to get a little baby check up---this week there was NO NEED! Baby was thumping away! In fact, I caught it on video for you (okay, its for me, but I thought I'd share
Things seem to be growing and firming up even since last week. I'm big, but when I compare to photos of me pregnant with Deagan, I'm really only a smidge bigger than I was with him---and not a ton bigger than I was with my first. Which is strange because everyone around me can tell I'm pregnant at a glance---strangers talk about how cute my belly is and when I'm due, the librarian asked my son if he was excited to become a big brother. I feel like I'm in that stage of "is she getting fatter or is she pregnant?" but no one else seems to wonder.
I'm officially up one whole pound from pre-pregnancy (although, with the constipation, I might not be up at all, but if I'm up I know its not much because all of my jeans still fit great (even the tight ones) so long as I don't attempt to button them---seriously painful. Not even my size tighter 10s (I was in 6-8s pre preg) can button around it, but they're falling off in the butt/legs...so I'm making the permanent switch to maternity this week and putting away all of my "real" pants. Hopefully, "permanent" will be til May when this baby makes an appearance totally healthy and happy and nursing away.
I had a breakdown yesterday at the hospital (the same hospital where I delivered Deagan and was wheeled out of L&D without a baby)---I had gone in to get some bloodwork done (results being sent to my doc, its just cheaper for me to have the tests done at the Naval Hospital, so I do). I was there thinking about the last time I had hope---the last time I was this far along (or more) and thought I was actually going to get a baby. How crushing it is to be so close, to be counting down the days to one of the happiest moments of your life and to suddenly have it all taken away and be forced to live through the hardest days and months of your life. I didn't break down in grief over Deagan, although I still do from time to time. This time, I was breaking down in anticipation, in HOPE that I might actually get to experience that joy again. The insane life-altering happiness that comes with birthing a live baby, nursing it and watching it sleep peacefully in your arms, and then strapping it safely in a carseat and driving slowly home. That feeling of utter completion that comes when you lay your baby down in YOUR home and know that everyone is home and safe and happy.
As for symptoms, nausea is down, but definitely not gone. My boobs have dropped from DEFCON 5, to about DEFCON 2 in pain scale. I still get up 2-3 times per night to pee and can't sleep well. I'm hormonal and tear up every time my son is cute (which is a lot), and I am constipated and tired all the time and always thirsty and have to eat like every 2 hours...oh the joys
And I think that's about it. I'll leave you with the photos