I miss you Liam :-(

2 years ago today my uncle Liam's body was found in the river 5 days after he went missing. The only reason he was found so quick was that the river rescue volunteers from another town came to drag the river. We knew he was gone, he just walked out of his house in the middle of the night leaving the door unlocked + everything behind. He was schizophrenic for years but controlling it with meds, very quiet man, never put in or out with anyone. He was closer to us, his nieces + nephews, he was the youngest of a big family at 36 years old. (My dad the oldest at 56). What's killing us is we didn't notice anything different about him the week leading up to his disappearance. Except my grandmother who said to my dad, I hope he's not off his meds again. This happened about 10 years ago, he went crazy without his meds + my dad as the oldest had to have him committed to the local psychiatric hospital. My grandparents were elderly + couldn't cope with him. Liam didn't speak to my dad for years after that. Why didn't we see the signs that he was suffering? Maybe we could have supported him better, helped him somehow, changed his mind etc. I guess this time he just couldn't deal with another breakdown. He never left note so we have so many questions. We know it was suicide though, since the moment my grandmother walked into his room + found his wallet, phone, keys, iPod + 3 packs of cigarettes all stacked up neatly on the windowsill. He never went anywhere without that iPod. When she saw those she collapsed + screamed. Autopsy revealed he had gone off his meds. They preserved him as best as they could, enough time for us to kiss him before they closed his coffin. 2 years on this still hurts like a knife through my heart. I've lost 2 other close family members since then but I think this hit me hardest. 2 years ago today we were still clinging to the hope that he just wanted to be by himself for a while + would get in contact. Till 4pm when the call came that a body was pulled from the river + 2 uncles went to identify him. Then that call that broke all our hearts that it was him. I broke the news to my brother in New Zealand, they had always been close. At least we found him. Some people are never found. At least we know where he is. Small comfort but he's not missing anymore. We buried him with all his Liverpool football stuff + Metallica CDs. Someone sang "You'll never Walk Alone" at his funeral. My aunt played a CD of The Hollies "He Ain't Heavy, He's my Brother" at his graveside. I'm sorry I'm rambling. I'm feeling so emotional today + my 6 month old DD is picking up on it. I just needed to get all this off my chest, to write it down.
RIP Liam Delahunty Junior, aged 36 years
xxxxxxxxIn the Arms of an Angelxxxxxxxx
Always loved, never forgotten <3 <3 <3

I'm so so sorry for your loss  

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard suicide is, my brother committed suicide on april 20th 2010. Somedays the pain is so raw it feels like it happened a week ago, but most of the time we are able to think back on good memories and smile. Again I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thanks ladies!   I'm just an emotional wreck today. I can't believe it's 2 years already it seems like it wasn't that long ago at all. I was 4 months pregnant for his 1st anniversary last year, I was so sick + run down as well as very hormonal so I basically cried all the time for a few days. I've shed my tears today + feel a lil better now. There's not 1 day goes by that I don't think of him but these days I'm starting to smile with memories rather than cry.