Quoting MommyCeleste.:" This all started when our daughter was born (she is now almost 9 months). We have NO alone time (& no ... [snip!] ... EVERY DAY. Now MAYBE once a week & its usually in a hurry. Were always frustrated about money issues or stressed & exhausted."
Why does she have to be with one of you at all times?
Sex once a week is better than most! lol With the twins it seriously was like 4 months before we were able to find time and energy! We still find ourselves going a month or more (large in part to him being gone for work as well). Sex is important in a relationship but it isn't the only thing. Sounds like your communication has really broken down. Your daughter is young enough that the two of you can go for a walk (weather pending) with her in a stroller and just talk. You can make a picnic and she will not go anywhere.
She is also old enough to be left alone to nap without someone hovering over her. Let her breath and focus one day a week to just you guys. Make that your "day". You don't have to go anywhere special or even leave at all. Make it the splurge on something and enjoy each other. Order take out, shower together, watch a movie ect.... Get your little girl on a better bedtime routine and take advantage of the time she is sleeping.