Quoting Mel & a girl named Pey:" That is a REALLY hard one. He may regret not going but I don't think I would push the matter. It sounds like the anger and resentment are strong and it will just cause a fight."
Agreed, why I've only asked once and said okay. I don't want a fight, I'm just trying to help him down the road. Regret is a tough thing to deal with. But, you ladies are probably right, I should let him make his own decision.
Other question, his father is asking to bring Zoey to the funeral...should I let her go? I think it might be a little confusing and traumatic for a 14 month old.