husband loosing his papaw... need help.

Not sure if i put this in the right spot.. So sorry if i did.


My husband is loosing his papaw...
He has demenaia
Lung cancer
And he just went to the hospital last night and found out he has pnemonia and congestive heart failure.
He smokes over a pack a day and doesnt take his meds..

My husband and father in law also smoke and i really want them to realize that him smoking is the main cause of alot of this. i told my husband about it and hes just saying hes killing himself he wont quit smoking to help himself but yet he doesnt understand that he needs to stop.


My question is... Should i even bring this up to him? I smoked for years to just recently quit for the baby so i know how it is..
And another thing.. If he does loose his papaw how do i even help him? Ive only dealt with one major death in my life.. And that was years ago when i was 14... Ive never had anyone close to me loose anyone.. How do i help him? What do i do? :/

Just be there for him. Hold him and tell him it's going to be okay.

I don't know about the smoking thing..but I wouldnt say anything. If he smokes, that is his choice. I tried getting my grandpa to quit for the longest, then he got lung cancer and STILL smoked until he was on his death bed.

However, with his pills...my MIL puts them in her husbands coffee and it works well.

First - hes not an idiot, he know smoking kills. This is NOT the time to bring it up.

Second - Theres not much you can do. Make his days and nights a bit easier, do some of his chores around the house for him, make him nice meals, and remind him how much you love him and are thankful for him.

Just be there. With your mouth closed. Theres nothing you can say, you just have to let him grieve.

i learned that a smoker isnt going to quit for anyone but themselves. my fiancee is 32 and started smoking when he was 13. i used to get on him about smoking all the time and it did no good. it just made me more frustrated. he finally quit (cold turkey) around march or april of this year and he told me he only stopped because he finally realized how it was effecting his body... he hasnt touched one since.

i guess maybe have the talk with your husband about it and tell him that you want him to quit because you love him and want him around (healthy) and that when he is ready to quit he will have all of your support..

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shannonsfirst:</b>" First - hes not an idiot, he know smoking kills. This is NOT the time to bring it up. Second - Theres ... [snip!] ... are thankful for him. Just be there. With your mouth closed. Theres nothing you can say, you just have to let him grieve."</blockquote>



Meh im on bed rest :/