shared custody...easier?

Just curious, do you think those that have shared custody have it easier than those who have their children everyday? I am not intending this to be rude or hurtful. My BIL just got divorced and has his kids half the week and every other weekend. When he doesn't have his kids he is out with friends and doing his own thing. So my question is, is it easier to have your kids part time? Or is is harder?

I wouldn't know from experience but my heart would ache if I had to spend periods of time with my little monsters. When I go back to work, I'll be the lady in the bathroom, crying because I miss my kids.

I've seen lots of single moms on here say how they miss their kids when they go with their dad.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:</b>" Just curious, do you think those that have shared custody have it easier than those who have their children ... [snip!] ... he is out with friends and doing his own thing. So my question is, is it easier to have your kids part time? Or is is harder?"</blockquote>



Depends. When DH and I split 2 yrs ago for almost a yr. it was easier on me because I was attending classes instead of online. But it's hard too because we had to share everything about kids activities. I'm used to having my kids so when DH and I had joint custody it took awhile to get used to.

Quoting Jas ♥:" I wouldn't know from experience but my heart would ache if I had to spend periods of time with my little ... [snip!] ... because I miss my kids. I've seen lots of single moms on here say how they miss their kids when they go with their dad."

I mean I can imagine it would be hard. Just from what I have personally seen, it seems like a nice break.

I am selfish I wouldn't want to go that long without my child lol i don't even know what to do with myself when my mom has him for a couple of hours once a week.

Quoting s00nt0be04:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:</b>" Just curious, do you think those that ... [snip!] ... everything about kids activities. I'm used to having my kids so when DH and I had joint custody it took awhile to get used to."

I bet it would be hard to get used too!

My ex and I have joint custody. He gets the kids every wednesday after school (and they stay the night), and every other weekend. That's what is on paper...if he ever wants to (and work allowing, can) spend more time with them, I never deny him that.

I don't really like looking at it as him only having the kids "part time". I happen to have them more because my job hours coincide with their school hours...thus no need for after-care or anything. His work hours are off the wall, and even while together, the kids were usually asleep when he would get home. I think my kids have the right to spend the same amount of time with their dad that they do with me. Doesn't mean that always happens...but we make do  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:</b>" I mean I can imagine it would be hard. Just from what I have personally seen, it seems like a nice break."</blockquote>



I'm sure it does but when I need a break, I need a couple of hours. I'm a SAHM and have been since my first was born so being away from them for long periods of time is not something I handle well, initially.

Quoting Mylittleone's (B.B.M):" I am selfish I wouldn't want to go that long without my child lol i don't even know what to do with myself when my mom has him for a couple of hours once a week."

I don't think I would either but I have never had them away from me for more than a week they spent at their Grandmas. A part of me thinks it would be nice though. I mean I am a sahm and a break would be great!

Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:</b>" I mean I can imagine it would be hard. ... [snip!] ... have been since my first was born so being away from them for long periods of time is not something I handle well, initially."

I am a sahm too, 4 year old and a 2 year old. I hate to admit though I am sometimes envious of my BIL because he seems to have so much fun with his friends when he doesnt have his kids.

Quoting *MommaLindz*:" My ex and I have joint custody. He gets the kids every wednesday after school (and they stay the night), ... [snip!] ... to spend the same amount of time with their dad that they do with me. Doesn't mean that always happens...but we make do  "

But do you find it hard? Or do you enjoy the time you don't have your kids?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:</b>" I am a sahm too, 4 year old and a 2 year old. I hate to admit though I am sometimes envious of my BIL because he seems to have so much fun with his friends when he doesnt have his kids."</blockquote>



I think it's important to find a balance. If you're just in mom mode and around the kids all the time, you're more likely to be envious of someone else's life. The grass isn't always greener.

Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:" But do you find it hard? Or do you enjoy the time you don't have your kids?"

It was a weird adjustment because I was already so used to taking care of them by myself, even while married.
But I won't lie, I really do enjoy the break. Of course, I still miss them, but I also take joy in knowing they are having some great bonding/quality time with their dad. Thinking of it that way has really helped me relax a little more.

Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gemma Teller Morrow:</b>" I am a sahm too, 4 year old and a ... [snip!] ... mode and around the kids all the time, you're more likely to be envious of someone else's life. The grass isn't always greener."

True. I don't have any friends down here so I am with my kids 24/7 so I guess I am pretty jealous.

Quoting *MommaLindz*:" It was a weird adjustment because I was already so used to taking care of them by myself, even while ... [snip!] ... are having some great bonding/quality time with their dad. Thinking of it that way has really helped me relax a little more."

I am glad you were able to adjust. And enjoy your time.