Guilt and child support

My BD pays child support according to NYS...the whole 17% of his income route...I feel guilty about it on a daily basis...I was giving some of it back for a little while because he just has this way of making me feel like I am ruining his life...He has a house and claims he cannot afford his electric...I do my best to pay my rent and bills on my income only, but I still need support for groceries, diapers, baby clothes, gas, and daycare...people sometimes say that it's not his job to pay for any of my rent; that's my responsibility....Idunno if this is normal and/ or if it will pass...I am scared of posting this for the fear that I will be made to feel guiltier but at the same time, I need a little guidance here.

Smurf that. Dont feel guilty. Child support is meant to support the child. Provide food, shelter, basic needs. Dont give him anything back.

Child support is for you to SUPPORT your child. She needs a roof over her head.

Girl you are an idiot.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Patti.:</b>" Smurf that. Dont feel guilty. Child support is meant to support the child. Provide food, shelter, basic needs. Dont give him anything back."</blockquote>




This! Smurf whoever is making you feel guilty.

That money is to go towards anything that is used for your LO. So, rent is definitely fine to use child support on since it's providing shelter for your child. Now if you were buying booze with it, that'd be a different story. You shouldn't feel guilty, if you two were co-parenting, he would be forced to help out with what he is paying and some i am sure. It takes alot more income than just cs to cover the cost of a child.

I have a co-worker that just today told me her brother is paying 80% of his monthly income to child support.   

I think your guy is getting off easy.

Quoting Peppa pig:" My BD pays child support according to NYS...the whole 17% of his income route...I feel guilty about it ... [snip!] ... scared of posting this for the fear that I will be made to feel guiltier but at the same time, I need a little guidance here."

i'm not exactly sure why you're feeling guilty....? if the child is primarily with you, then that money is going to diapers, food, etc., so what is there to be guilty about? if he can't afford his rent and bills, then imo it is poor planning and budgeting on his part.

Quoting Patti.:" Smurf that. Dont feel guilty. Child support is meant to support the child. Provide food, shelter, basic needs. Dont give him anything back."

Thank you

Quoting loser mom:" I have a co-worker that just today told me her brother is paying 80% of his monthly income to child support.    I think your guy is getting off easy. "

Damn! Thats a lot!!

Don't feel guilty. He was involved in making this child too. And Child Support is supposed to be used for taking care of the child. That includes having a roof over your child's head and having clothes and food and diapers and anything else that you need to take care of your child. Childcare costs and gas to get there are included also. You're not ruining his life.

Screw that , he paying for his half take care of child. He has be responsible for things the kid need too. You aren't only one that should be handle accountable for y'all child. He doesnt like it tough smurf, should use a condom.

That money is meant for YOUR CHILD. So really I don't see it as yours to give back. What if he takes you back to court to lower child support and tells them you've been giving it back to him anyways....I bet that wouldn't fly over well with the judge. If he cant afford to live he needs to get a 2nd job.

I bet YOU spend more than 17% of your earnings on your child!!!

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 35:" Girl you are an idiot."

Oh eat smurf