Christmas is never going to be the same.

As much as I love Christmas, I know this year is going to be tough. Every year is, but this one will be one of the hardest. I'm dreading Thanksgiving passing, almost. My dad and I used to decorate the tree, drink eggnog and listen to Christmas music together around that once wonderful time. Now, all I can think is that he should be here. He should be swooning over his new grandchild, and all three of us should be putting that tree up together, even though she can't help too much. I wish more people understood how lucky they are to be able to call their dad and just say hi. If I could hear his voice just once more I would be so grateful. But I can't. If I could stand on his feet and dance across the livingroom one last time, or go "camping" in the livingroom, or jut give him one more big bear hug, I would be eternally grateful. If my daughter could look him in his eyes and feel all of the love that he had to give, just once, my life would be complete. None of this is possible. I know this. My daughter will never be held, hugged, kissed by him. I will never get that father-daughter dance at my wedding.

I just wish that it would get easier to deal with. It's been 8 years and it still isn't any easier thinking these thoughts.

I just want my daddy. I just want to tell him I love him, and hear him say "I love you more" one last time.

I'm so very sorry   I don't know how you feel but I'm here for you

I feel the same way and I have both my parents

I talk to both of them everyday. I am 100% about my family

It's been about 14 years since I've experienced any major death. I'm going to be a complete mess when I lose a parent

i completely understand you ! this is my first christmas with out my dad and i still dont know how i will handle all the messed up emotions , my dad was the happiest person when he found out i was giving him his first grandchild and it kills me that he wont get to meet her !

Quoting Lara +2:" I feel the same way and I have both my parents I talk to both of them everyday. I am 100% about my family ... [snip!] ... family It's been about 14 years since I've experienced any major death. I'm going to be a complete mess when I lose a parent"

I lost 5 very important family members in 5 years.

My maternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather, my paternal grandfather, my paternal great-grandfather, then lastly my dad.
It was a rough few years, very very rough.  



And thank you to the other poster.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:</b>" I lost 5 very important family members in 5 years. My maternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather, ... [snip!] ... great-grandfather, then lastly my dad. It was a rough few years, very very rough.   And thank you to the other poster."</blockquote>




My moms got multiple sclerosis and my dads a heavy smoker and hasn't been to a doc in about 6 years.
I already told my husband he's going to have to be he rock in this family because I will have a complete mental and emotional breakdown

I hate the way life works  

I'm sorry for your losses  

I'm sorry hun.   I sort of know what you're going through, but at the same time I don't. I have two dads but they are both idiotic smurfs who want nothing to do with me. My father, I haven't seen him since I was 7, and every time I TRY to contact him, he spouts nonsense and bitches about how I was raised. [Funny since he didn't want anything to do with raising me.. so why should he get to bitch about that?] and my step-dad hasn't wanted anything to do with me since him and my mom got a divorce, he was a creep and an smurf but he was still my dad since I was 3 yrs old.

I'm glad I still have my grandpa though, he makes all the rest of that smurf not matter.

Your post seriously made me cry. My dad died in April and my mom is moving to Pennsylvania this week. My brother is still staying at my mom's house in Texas (3 hours from me) until it sells. I'm actually requesting to work all the holidays this year to keep busy. We will just celebrate around my work schedule. I really don't know how the holidays will be for me this year...

This literally made my heart ache   I'm so sorry for your loss  

I'm sorry. The only real father figure I ever had, my grandfather, died when I was four. Even with my being as young as I was, it still hits me like a ton of bricks every March. I was absolutely terrified that DS was going to be born on the day he died. We're actually naming this new baby after him.

Quoting Mama to William + 1:" I'm sorry. The only real father figure I ever had, my grandfather, died when I was four. Even with my ... [snip!] ... I was absolutely terrified that DS was going to be born on the day he died. We're actually naming this new baby after him."

im naming my daughter after my dad , his name was joseph and she will be melody josephine

Quoting iisabell:" im naming my daughter after my dad , his name was joseph and she will be melody josephine"

It's a pretty name, too.  
I always wanted to name a child after my grandfather and was quite thankful DH was never opposed to the idea. Even if it's not his favorite name (he's fairly apathetic) he knows what it means to me. And the two middle names will be the names of our other biological grandparents, so it's nice for everyone all around.
I have a couple relatives who aren't happy about it, though. One of my older cousins is also named after my grandfather and his sister has been throwing a fit over us using the name for months now.