having an emotional affair

ok, here goes nothing...

i've never done this before, but i need to get this off my chest. i'm having an emotional affair with my ex-boyfriend. long story short, we met at church when we were teenagers. we started off as friends, then fell in love. my step-dad grew up with his dad, and didn't like his dad, so he forbid us to see one another. eventually he took away my phone privileges, then forced me to quit my job, because it was too close to my ex's house. no joke. all odds were against us, so we split up. i was devastated. i was between the ages of 18-19 at the time, if that makes a difference. this was 8 years ago. since then, we've both 'moved on' with our lives, but not really. he got married and has 2 kids and i'm newly married. i have a child also. he and his wife recently divorced within the last year. we've gone months, even years, without talking to one another, but the flame is still there. i have tried to get over him, and it was to no avail. my mind can't make my heart get over him. i think about him every day. even during the times that we don't speak to one another, i think about him. do you know how it feels when you meet 'the one'? well, that's how i've always felt about him. i know it's crazy and i know it's wrong, but i can't help. i know you're going to tell me to cut all ties with him. been there, done that, and it doesn't help. at the end of the day, it's him i think about. like i said, i know this is wrong, but i don't know what to do. i saw him today, and ever since, i have been so giddy and happy. he makes me happy. always has. if nicholas sparks was telling this story, he'd find some way to make it romantic, but he's not telling it. i am. and i don't know what to do. i feel like i married my husband for the wrong reasons, but i can't tell him that. i don't want to break his heart. i don't need judgement right now. i feel bad enough as it is. but can anyone offer any advice? has anyone been in a similar situation that they'd like to share?

If you can't stop thinking about him, i would not be with your husband. Do him a favor. Stop hurting him.

Quoting Marissa ♥ 15 days!:" If you can't stop thinking about him, i would not be with your husband. Do him a favor. Stop hurting him."

you act like i'm doing it on purpose. i'm not. i can't help who i love.

if he is divorced and you want to be with him.. get a divorce and be with him. you cant be in a marriage that isnt real. I wouldnt want my time wasted and im sure your husband wouldnt want his either.

i wish i had better advice though. Id much rather be with the one that i really love and htink about honestly.

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" if he is divorced and you want to be with him.. get a divorce and be with him. you cant be in a marriage ... [snip!] ... his either. i wish i had better advice though. Id much rather be with the one that i really love and htink about honestly."

   

i would get divorced and be with him.

In my opinion the amount of growing up that is done between 18 and say 26 isn't worth finding out that what you cared for was the person you knew back then. It's easy for our mind to remember people the way we want to.

You're breaking your husbands heart right now.

Quoting BG Secrets:" you act like i'm doing it on purpose. i'm not. i can't help who i love."

Why are you still with your SO then?

Quoting BG Secrets:" you act like i'm doing it on purpose. i'm not. i can't help who i love."

then divorce him   and be with the one you do think about. don't hurt your husband like this!

Quoting BG Secrets:" you act like i'm doing it on purpose. i'm not. i can't help who i love."

You asked for advice. She gave you great advice!

He's "the one that got away". I think everyone has someone like that at some point. Well- besides maybe people who have only ever had a couple of relationships.


He makes you happy and nostalgic- that's fine, just remember the grass is always greener as cliche as that is to say.

I don't think you need to cease contact- but I do think you might need to stop romanticising your former relationship so much. It probably wouldn't work out now. Not without a lot of heartbreak and disappointment etc.


You have a crush and that's fine, in my opinion.

Quoting Turd Ferguson:" In my opinion the amount of growing up that is done between 18 and say 26 isn't worth finding out that ... [snip!] ... knew back then. It's easy for our mind to remember people the way we want to. You're breaking your husbands heart right now."

i know, and i feel absolutely horrible about it.  

i've thought about what you said. maybe i'm idealizing him and vice versa. i don't know. i really wish i could get over him. truly, i do, but it's not that simple.

Quoting Angel's Momma.:" You asked for advice. She gave you great advice!"

Thank you

Leave your husband, he deserves to be with someone who considers him their true love.

Quoting Marissa ♥ 15 days!:" Thank you "

Your welcome!