re: having an emotional affair

Quoting SpaceCowgirl:" Do you want it to be more than an emotional affair? Or is this more of a crush?"

it's more than a crush, but it isn't physical, so it's an emotional affair.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" All this true love stuff is juvenile and hoaky. We can have many true loves in our lives that serve different ... [snip!] ... puppy love you had withyour ex-but that doesn't last forever. Most functional relationships AREN'T like that as we mature."

 
So true!

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" All this true love stuff is juvenile and hoaky. We can have many true loves in our lives that serve different ... [snip!] ... puppy love you had withyour ex-but that doesn't last forever. Most functional relationships AREN'T like that as we mature."

THIS.

Honestly, OP I have passion for my SO. I do. I love him with all of me. But I didn't in the beginning. I almost let him go. Because I was thinking of that stupid sappy BS.

Quoting BG Secrets:" it's more than a crush, but it isn't physical, so it's an emotional affair."

Yeah, but are you willing to take it to the next level with him?

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" maybe if you just cut him out.. and just go on with life, eventually it will go away. this kinda ... [snip!] ... this kinda reminds me of the notebook in a way ya know.. if i had a "noah" i wouldnt want to lose him thats for sure."

it's funny you should mention that, because i always think of him when i watch the notebook.

this was more of just a way to let my feelings out. i probably won't divorce my husband. i'll cut contact with my ex, just like i've done a hundred times before, but well find out way back to one another. we always do.

Quoting BG Secrets:" i've been trying to do that for 8 years. i wish it were that simple."

Maybe you just think you're still in love with him when you really aren't.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" All this true love stuff is juvenile and hoaky. We can have many true loves in our lives that serve different ... [snip!] ... puppy love you had withyour ex-but that doesn't last forever. Most functional relationships AREN'T like that as we mature."

that's for certain.

why do some couple seem so happy together, though? are they faking it?

Quoting BG Secrets:" it's funny you should mention that, because i always think of him when i watch the notebook. this was ... [snip!] ... cut contact with my ex, just like i've done a hundred times before, but well find out way back to one another. we always do."

You have control over this though. You do, more so than you're letting yourself believe. You can never be in contact whatsoever, ever again if you want it to work with your husband bad enough.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your husband said he has an ex that surfaces, one that just always finds her way back, and it's like a big emotional smurfery for him. Would it slay you?

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" He's "the one that got away". I think everyone has someone like that at some point. Well- besides maybe ... [snip!] ... work out now. Not without a lot of heartbreak and disappointment etc. You have a crush and that's fine, in my opinion."

I completely agree with this!
OP, I think you're fantasizing about things that already had their time. Whether you were to be with him or not, you should still divorce your husband. He deserves someone that will give him 100%. That isn't you. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Maybe you need to be single and sort your feelings out.

Quoting BG Secrets:" that's for certain. why do some couple seem so happy together, though? are they faking it?"

Not I. I am happy. The ones that put a lot out there publicly all the time? Faking it? Maybe? Insecure in some way or another? Most definitely.

Quoting Turd Ferguson:" You have control over this though. You do, more so than you're letting yourself believe. You can never ... [snip!] ... an ex that surfaces, one that just always finds her way back, and it's like a big emotional smurfery for him. Would it slay you?"

i can imagine it would.

Quoting Nikkie Beee:" I completely agree with this! OP, I think you're fantasizing about things that already had their time. ... [snip!] ... give him 100%. That isn't you. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Maybe you need to be single and sort your feelings out."

maybe i do.

i've thought about marriage counseling, but that would mean all these feelings would have to come out...

thank you for the feedback, ladies. truly. i think you just reaffirmed everything i already knew. like i said, i just needed to get this out. i just needed to have SOMEONE to talk to. i guess i've always believed that if something is meant to be, it will find a way, so part of me believes that my ex and i are meant to be. thank you, again.

now i can log back in to my regular account and start typing normally again.

Just keep in mind if you leave your husband to get back with your ex, what if that really isn't what you want and you miss your husband but by then your husband doesn't want to take you back..

Quoting Jacquelynde:" Just keep in mind if you leave your husband to get back with your ex, what if that really isn't what you want and you miss your husband but by then your husband doesn't want to take you back.."

i've thought about this. believe me.