Forums > Suffering & Lossby: LIVE.OUT.LOUD

I dont know what to do...

posted 7th Nov
I recently had a miscarriage and im sooo depressed... I feel angry all the time and my temper is really short when it comes to my 2 boys... My fiance wants to try again once my body heals but I dont even know if I want another baby any more.... I mean I do but I dont think I could handle it if this happened again.... Im barely dealing with it now... I keep telling myself he/she is in a better place and he/she is safe and rationally I know that but at the same time I just want him/her here with us... My mom and and mil keep telling me to just move on and you cant keep crying you have 2 kids so you need to stay strong and suck it up... The worst part is my mil had a miscarriage before she had her son (my fiance) so you would think she would be more understanding but she isnt... Then I feel worse than I did before me and her talked because she tells me im being irrational and immature... I just lost my baby Saturday night..... The dead body was in my pad... I saw it... What am I supposed to do??? I dont know what to do....
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I'm TTC since July '12, have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Lawrenceville, Georgia
posted 7th Nov
I'm so sorry for your loss  

I just recently went through a MMC. The baby passed away about 12 weeks ago, but my body wouldn't miscarry. I took Cytotec and passed the baby Sept 17th. I buried them with a tree and made them a memorial statue, which really helped me with closure. Unfortunately, three weeks later my levels didn't go down and they found out I had tissue left and I had to get a D&C on the 10th.

Originally, I felt the same way you do. But I had two months to grieve the process. We feel better now and want to fill that void. It's scary, very scary. People can be very insensitive, too and it hurts so bad. Especially when your wound is so fresh and you have that memory of seeing your baby, too.

I am so thankful for my healthy child I do have. That doesn't mean I miss our lost one any less or makes it better. But she deserves to have me be the best mom for her- even though I felt so empty and suicidal, especially when I was walking around with their body in me, knowing that, feeling like a graveyard.

Things do get better. Nothing will ever completely take your pain away, the pain is normal, it's human and grieving is healthy. <3
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I have 1 child & 2 angel babies & live in Tennessee
posted 7th Nov
<blockquote><b>Quoting loving.my.boys:</b>" I recently had a miscarriage and im sooo depressed... I feel angry all the time and my temper is really ... [snip!] ... my baby Saturday night..... The dead body was in my pad... I saw it... What am I supposed to do??? I dont know what to do...."</blockquote>




My friend just lost her baby at 10 weeks I was shattered so I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling.maybe you could have a little memorial for closure. I am so sorry :,(
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I have 2 kids & live in Australia
posted 7th Nov
I lost my baby in July. It gets easier. I still have moments where I miss what could have been , but I will try again.

I'll only have two children , so the way I look at it is that my next successful pregnancy I won't be looking back at what could have been because if that had happened the baby I will have in my arms wouldn't exist. And I know that I will love that baby with all my heart and never want to replace him/her with another.

All my family wanted to do was talk about my miscarriage and tell me I was better off. I just wanted to grieve in peace.
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I'm due September 18th (a boy), have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in Brandon, Mississippi
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