i cut when the pain gets to be too much says my niece....

my 15yr old troubled niece Nathalie, has been cutting her self she as always been a weird child from a little girl. over the last few months things have gone bad to worse her mother can no longer control my niece. ( here is the full story)

Nathalie calls her self a "cutter." She is 15 years old. She doesn't have many friends in real life. Her best friends are from the Internet. On the Internet she can be totally honest. She can talk about why she cuts herself and why she doesn't eat.She has never had a boyfriend and she can not remember the last time anyone hugged her or told her they loved her. She lives with her grandparents because her step-father and mother didn't want her to live with them anymore. She gets one hour three times a week on the Internet. If she goes one minute over, she loses it for two weeks. She said she can't talk to her grandparents. She said they come from another era.Nathalie told me she cuts when the pain gets to be too much. She has 23 scars. When she was 10 she would sit in the class and stare out the window. When the teacher would call out her name and tell her to stop looking out the window and pay attention it would frighten and embarrass her. She said the other children in the class would laugh at her. They called her the Nathalie the daydreamer. Sometimes she would get punished for not knowing the answers to the teacher's questions. She said once she had to write "I will not stare out the window" 500 times.I asked her what she would think about when she was staring out the window. She said she was usually trying to figure out why she was such a horrible person. I asked her why she thought of herself as a horrible person. She said, "I thought I must be horrible if my mother doesn't want me to live with her and my father never wanted to see me." I asked her if her mother had hit her. She said, "Yes. Sometimes." I asked her if she thought that her mother was abusive. She said, "No, I wouldn't say that. She only hit me when I made her angry. So I guess I deserved it."Then I asked her why she thought her father never wanted to see her. She said, "I really don't know. Isn't it normal for a father to want to see his own daughter? What could I have done to make him hate me so much?" She said he moved away when she was 6. She said she has written him letters but he has never written back. She said she lays awake at night wondering if he ever reads the letters or if he even gets them. She said he must get them because they never get returned to me by the post office.I asked her if she ever told anyone that her mother was hitting her. She said once she did but then they talked to her mother and the mother said Nathalie was a "compulsive liar." They believed her mother over Nathalie, so Nathalie was afraid to ever tell anyone else again. When we talked about her feelings she always said she learned that people didn't want to hear her true feelings. So she kept themself. When they got too much for her, she would reach for her razor.

Are you just getting this off your chest or wanting to learn about this and understand?
I have cut since about 14, tho I haven't for most of this past year. You can PM me if you want to talk or ask anything.

Aww, poor sweet girl. No one should have to go through that. Do you know what you're going to do?

Can you take her in? She needs a loving home.

 

That's so horrible.
There's no one else that will take her? That poor girl needs to be shown love and compassion.


And I wouldn't refer to her as weird. She's traumatized. She's lived a hard life, and if things don't change, there's not a good chance it'll be a long one with how depressed she sounds  

I am so sorry to hear about that!!!

I was a cutter from 11-17. The deepest is the one that i actually tried to kill myself with a butcher knife and my friend rushed me to the ER.

Has she thought of looking in to counceling??? I used everything from razors to broken cd's. Then I finally came to the realization that I needed to love me and not care what other people think.

If she needs someone to talk to let me know and I will give you my email address. I am in school for psychology with a focus on teenagers.

I would love to help someone with there what my psych called "disease" but I disagree. Maybe she just needs to talk to someone who has lived it and can show her that there is more to life and that she needs to love herself and show her how to love herself

thanks for all the support my niece doesn't want to live with me or anyone else me and my older brother Dean, are dealing with her needs and she is seeking medical help but i think its all to much for Nat, im here for her as i love my niece.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Soon a Mom of 2:</b>" I am so sorry to hear about that!!! I was a cutter from 11-17. The deepest is the one that i actually ... [snip!] ... has lived it and can show her that there is more to life and that she needs to love herself and show her how to love herself "</blockquote>


thank you

Quoting 1st1ontheway:" Can you take her in? She needs a loving home."

This

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kenleigh's Mama :]:</b>" This"</blockquote>




yes i can take my niece in but she refuses maybe i should try get a court order and go for full custody

Quoting Tyannemom2kids:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kenleigh's Mama :]:</b>" This"</blockquote> yes i can take my niece in but she refuses maybe i should try get a court order and go for full custody"

Why does she refuse if i may ask? From what i read, i'd rather live with you if it was me lol. Idk a court order?? If she feels forced to move in with you would that make her feel worse/stressed?

Thats really sad, I hope you can nurture her in all the ways she has missed out on as a child.
I bet she is creative, maybe a after school group like a poetry club, drama, dance anything like that would be amazing outlet for her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kenleigh's Mama :]:</b>" Why does she refuse if i may ask? From what i read, i'd rather live with you if it was me lol. Idk a court order?? If she feels forced to move in with you would that make her feel worse/stressed?"</blockquote>i

she doesn't want to live me cos of my sister (her mother) it would cause huge arguements between us but like i say i love my niece and she really gets on well with my kids my son adores his big cousin.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" Thats really sad, I hope you can nurture her in all the ways she has missed out on as a child. I bet ... [snip!] ... is creative, maybe a after school group like a poetry club, drama, dance anything like that would be amazing outlet for her. "</blockquote>


nope she doesn't do after school activities that i know of yet.